Growing into hollows.

The thoughts and experiences of a job search that taught more about life than life itself.

Now where was I?

If you happen to be that person whose biggest aspiration in life is to do well on your own merits, then probably the first step toward that would be finding a solid ground to land on. And if you are the type that said no to take the the usual route to a degree, you are at war. You, sadly, need this first jump in the name of an “employment” to make sure those who could not fathom the fact that you are more than just a useless vegetable will let you be.

Unfortunately, these are the seething thoughts of a fresh mind right out of college in a rage to prove the world wrong. That viable age where blood boils at room temperature. And you run at an unstoppable speed just to meet an immovable object. Life. Yes, the harsh realities of the bigger picture bombard you into a chaotic abyss: the search for employment. Or a one way ticket to the point of no redemption.

Welcome to the world and strike. “Be confident”. This is possibly the biggest lie anyone can tell a youngster. You are struck down from the moment you step foot in their cubicles and utter your greetings. The biggest do not do is confidence. And the hits will rain on you with statements like “your resume is unconventional” or “you do not deserve such a salary”. You will not be answered to or reverted back (Big words for basic courtesy). You will be rejected. For many a stupid reason. Too over qualified, not enough experience, wrong diction, you come across as over confident. And so on and so forth.

Your resolutions of finding a job within your stipulated time-frame will be extended from days to weeks to months. Which gives enough time for people around you to tell you a horse load of things. “Take any job that comes”, “Why’re you wasting your parents’ money?”. Anything that will fuel the already existing fire you are trying to put out. And in this bargain, you will reject a few jobs that came in fear of where it may lead. Bad decisions. More headaches. More cigarettes. More smoke to put out.

But amidst all this chaos is where you will grow up. You will learn about life. You will enlighten yourself. And you will also learn that you can’t be enlightened by anyone else. You will think and rethink. You will be ready to take the plunge wherever it may be. You will learn to be confident, for real, and not in the way they meant it. You will bear witness to the fruits of the philosophy you were told not to look at. You will find happiness in things bigger than employment, money and material living. You will take success and failure on your shoulder as they should be. You will lead your life to its right place. In the end it’s all you.

Too simple to be true. But let face it. It’s all the person you face in the mirror every morning. And to figure this out you needed to run around building after building full of empty vacancies to fill the vacuum in you. When all you had to do is grow into it, the natural way. And just as you are ready, you will get the right space to fill in the bigger picture. That’s when you will see that there is more than one space you can fill to fit the picture well.

Confusion, chaos, growth and the mystery called life.

Now, where was I again..?

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