Autistic mind getting stuck

How many autistic people reading this have been told that they need to ‘let something go’? Probably most of you, it not all. The problem is that the way an autistic mind works, means it latches on to certain things.

Sometimes this can be a brilliant thing, like the way Harry Potter is embedded in my mind and helps me get through the hard times. But it can also happen with negative thoughts. Most commonly, for me, is thoughts that don’t make sense.

It feels like a thought enters my mind and instantly gets rejected. It hits up against a wall in my mind and my mind doesn’t understand how to deal with it. I get constant and repeating thoughts of, ‘this doesn’t make sense’ and ‘I don’t understand’.

This thought keeps going and keeps going. It hits into the sides of my mind and causes distress. My mind gets stuck on it and can’t get passed it. I just want to pull it out of my mind and be free of the frustration of a thought I can’t place, a situation or moment I don’t understand and can’t process.

Given autism is a social and communication disability, the majority of times this occurs it is something that has been said to or about me. Someone will say something that just doesn’t make sense to me. For it to have a big effect it is likely that I thought something was one way, and then unexpectedly someone says something that questions that and doesn’t make sense to me.