If life pours cold water on your dream, reignite it!

Rosie Siqueira
Sep 2, 2018 · 5 min read

When I tell people I quit my job in Brazil, left all behind and decided to live abroad with no mid-term plans and no deadlines, thousands of questions come up. Most of them are eagerly await to her about the beauty of everything, which cities I have visited, the different foods I’ve tasted, the languages I’m learning and the interesting people I’ve met. Some others are more concerned about the difficulties I’m facing in that journey such as finding a job and making money, communicating with others, adapting to public and private services, being and feeling lonely and etc.

However, I tell you the truth. The hardest thing I’ve faced every single week since I moved out is only one: surviving from countless times people or situations have thrown cold water on my plans, dreams and ideas.

First reason why it happens is because starting a new life from zero in a different country implies not having the control of the things as I used to have in my usual and comfortable routine. Back in Brazil, I was self-sufficient for most of the things: I managed my time, my money and my schedule. I knew where to go, how to solve most of the bureaucracies, I was familiar with the language, I knew what I could expect from people’s culture and reactions and, as a result, most of the problems were, in the majority, predictable or easily manageable.

The second reason why it happens is because we create too much expectations. Dreaming and picturing a life abroad is very different from really experimenting it. We become too anxious and excited about what comes next and guess what? The next can frequently be a very big bucket of cold water on you. Someone will say “no” to your proposal of renting that house you thought it was perfect for your needs, some documents won’t be ready at the time someone in the office said they would, due to different background and cultures people will react in a way you couldn’t expect, laws aren’t exactly how you cogitated they should be and what seems obvious is never that obvious.

It takes a while until you realize it all. Before that, probably you will devote a lot of energy being sad and disappointed when your plans and dreams are ruined suddenly and in an unexpected manner. Time has rolled by and I have learned — not fully! — how to deal with that and here are my Top 4 ways to recover from that horrible feeling:

I talk to myself

I know it can be a little bit weird, but I do talk to myself loud. I’ve attended to psychologist sessions for a long period in Brazil and during this time I have comprehended I should always have a Rosie in control of all the other Rosies. The Rosie professional, the Rosie friend, the lover, the daughter, the traveler and etc. We all have different masks we use during our lives, but it’s important to keep the main You always in charge in a healthy, balanced and lucid way to bring all the others together to the center.

Talking to myself is the trick I’ve found to put a wisdom voice telling me how I should or shouldn’t react in a specific moment. It’s my rational being trying to give commands to my emotional impulses and to my body reactions. In that way, I make it loud and clear to myself what I should do to solve that unexpected problem and to not completely freak out. It’s a constant exercise to be more enlightened and to keep an instinct reaction control.


I listen — and sometimes dance — to songs that cheer me up

I am very easily affected by music. There are songs which can instantly make me feel sad and lonely even if I am in the middle of a super crazy and pleasurable party and there are those who can fulfill me with energy and make me feel a superwoman. I know sometimes we just want to listen to that sad smooth song, lay down in bed, grab the pillow and cry — I’ve done it several times. But I also know if I go into that mood I normally take longer to recover myself, so I try to avoid it and opt for cheerful tracks.

If I am in a place where I have privacy and space, I also dance a little bit. Preferably in front of the mirror. This is the moment when I smile, shake my butt, sweat and become beautifully disheveled to no one else but myself.


I guide my mind towards my own world

Avoiding people when things go wrong can save you from worst moments. In front of some situations, I can become too dramatic, too sensitive or even too aggressive and then, well… you know. Bigger shit can happen.

Silence has been a great tool to those cases. I melt my brain down with an avalanche of thoughts and neural connections happening inside my noodle, but I prefer not to speak until I calm down. As long as I am not sure I’m on control and know all the answers about what to do, I’d rather to be cloistered into my own world with my own thoughts.


I turn back to the plan and daydream a little bit

I am a dream powered human being. I need a next dream to pursue, I need a plan to design and challenges to go across until I achieve the goal. When someone pours cold water on everything, the disillusion can be devastating to me. So, which alternative could be more powerful than keep the dream up?

If something went wrong, giving up is rarely an option, unless I have tried everything I could. But if this is not the case, revisiting the dreams and the plans always makes me daydream again and fulfill myself with, at least, a small portion of hope to keep fighting for them.

I’ve met people whose strategies include exercising, meditating, cooking, taking a real cold shower or simply sleeping. I would love to read your thoughts: What are your ways to better react when something or someone pours cold water on your dreams?

Rosie Siqueira

Written by

Writer and communicator spreading creativity around the world / Jornalista com sede de compartilhar e disseminar a criatividade pelo mundo.

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