Let Me Quench Your Thirst: Why I Don’t Mind A “Thirsty” Man.
So let’s rewind to earlier this year….I’m working at this sucky job. On top of slaving away at this underpaying physically strenuous job… there’s a guy. He’s a cool guy. Our departments are next to each others and even though technically our schedules don’t overlap, I’m a slave to the man. At this point I’m pretty much working overtime every day so we happen to work adjacent to one another for a couple of hours a few days a week. Within these few encounters he has made it clear that he likes me and wants to take me out. And I have made it clear that though I’m flattered, I’m not interested.
This goes on for about a month or so until the day before Valentine’s Day. As I went behind my department to gather my belongings (because I was too lazy to walk to the employee locker room where I’m was actually supposed keep my personal items) homeboy from the other department pops up with flowers and card in hand, and a cross between a smile and a serious expression on his face. After a very awkward pause consisting of me confusingly staring at him, he speaks. He explains that he knows I’m off tomorrow (Valentine’s Day) and he wants to me have these flowers and enjoy my day. He goes on to give a me hug, gently caresses my cheek and walks away.
As I’m leaving work I run into one of my coworkers who I was pretty close with at the time. She tells me she likes my flowers and asks who gave them to me. Though I’m still slightly confused about what just transpired, I go on to tell her the story. Luckily her already knowing the history of this guy pursuing me allowed me to save time.
I must admit, I was flattered by the gesture, but more so by the approach. It was smooth, subtle and he did it with such a cool confidence that I thought to myself, “what girl wouldn’t be flattered?” but apparently my coworker wouldn’t have been. Immediately after I tell her what happened she weighs in with “Oh girl, no. He is thirsty. He’s doing way too much.” And it was in that moment I realized… The dating game is all the way jacked up!
What exactly is thirst….?
Dictionary.com describes thirst 3 ways.
1. a sensation of dryness in the mouth and throat caused by need of liquid
2. the physical condition resulting from this need, in any of various degrees
3. strong or eager desire; craving
Number 3 would be the most accurate definition in terms of the type of thirst I’m going to talk about in this post.
We’ve all heard it before. “Oh girl, he’s thirsty”, “the thirst is real” and a bunch of other catchy phrases people use when trying to describe someone who is coming on just a little too strong.
But is being thirsty for someone you’re truly interested in really such a bad thing? I say no. Why? Because first, the word thirsty is gravely overused.
A guy likes more than 4 pictures on a females Instagram at a once… “He’s soooo thirsty”.
A females hits up a dude first… “oh, she’s thirsty bro. She must want the D”
Seriously, we have to do better than this.
We shouldn’t scold someone who are actually courageous enough to pursue who they want, because a lot of people lack that very same courage.
Now before I dive into the reasons why I personally don’t mind a thirsty man, I had to ask myself…Is there such a thing as being too thirsty?
Well, yea. One could be a bit overeager or come on too strong. We’ve either seen it or done it, so of course it’s possible. Blatantly ignoring the word NO or someone’s wishes to be left alone (especially when they’ve made it clear they’re not interested) is simply not okay. It’s also NOT the type of thirst I’m referring to when I say I truly don’t mind a thirsty man.
Here are the 4 reasons I don’t mind a thirsty man
Let’s just call it what it is. Even before thirsty became such a commonly used term, rejection in general is scary enough to make most people just not even try. No seriously, an ex of mine told me that being rejected by his first girlfriend in a semi-harsh way made him scared to approach females all throughout his young adulthood. So a man who is ballsy enough to not only approach but also pursue what he wants, gets a gold star in my book. Even if that’s all he gets.
I’m not referring to the guy who will wait around after a few dates because he wants to get in your pants. I’m talking about a real thirsty man. See a real thirsty man, one who craves not only your body but your mind, your attention, your intellect, and your affection is patient because he knows that those are not things he will gain access to over night. He thinks long term because what fully grown independent man would really waste their time to court you and make his intentions known, just to smash. None that I know.
He’s not overly concerned with his image
Image is important yes, but dating a guy who is always concerned about how things look or how people perceive him is exhausting. You see, a thirsty man is more concerned about your perception of him rather than the perception of the outside world. He’s not phased by his friends telling him “whipped” or society telling him how he should handle his relationship.
He isn’t too cool to love you
I often have conversation with my friends about how our generation is just “too damn cool”.
He’s the type of man who isn’t embarrassed to show you his interest. We all like a cool dude, but he can’t be too cool to love you. To hug you. To shower you with kisses and praises if that is what you give to him.
But with that, it’s your responsibility not to embarrass him when he does. Not to show his text messages to your friends and laugh at “how bad he wants you”. Not to play it too cool so he ends up feeling like he’s the only one invested. And not to show off in front of his friends because “You know you can” and I know he will most likely bend to my will.
You have to figuratively, and often literally (wink,wink), quench his thirst because relationships are a two way street after all.