New Year Resolutions #fail
Day One. Strong Positive Vibes.
“Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”
― Brad Paisley said about New Year Resolutions…
I had an active start to 2017 and was incredibly productive;
- I drove close to 6 hours in the car home from the cabins,
- I just got over 5000 of my minimum 10,000 steps on @fitbit for the day,
- and then visited a guilt trip after a great family dinner with desert…
…all in the first day of 2017. I am off to a great start…
Chapter 1, Part 1 = Fail.
See the thing is, even before the 1st January, I knew my day was doomed to be unproductive, so I embraced it with that expectation. The only hiccup is that for the last 8 years I have failed with my resolutions:
- Eat healthy, and get ripped = Fail.
- Learn a New Language = Fail.
- Travel to New Zealand = Fail.
- Wake up Daily @ 5:30am = Fail (…but 2017 is hopeful thanks to the baby on the way.)
Now I am an optimist and I believe that resolutions were created with good intent and that one bad day won’t effect the other potential 364 productive days in 2017. So with such an epic beginning, I had to make day 2 better… feeling uninspired about resolutions I hit the gym, walked, blasted through emails, cleaned up my computer and decided I should add a cherry on top and write a blog post about my long time hate and dread… writing.
So rather than cussing new year resolutions I am going to focus on the things that I see are negatives for me, but actually positives. What I have learnt is that the good stuff… is precisely that… good stuff in theory and it stays that way. But, the Bad stuff… I avoid at all costs.
As part of my new evil habit of “writing” here are my new ways of thinking for 2017 which I am linking both my civic/personal and professional negative improvements separately:
1. Remain Content
Being and Remaining happy are two different stories, though many link them together. I have moods, I won’t hide it. My wife knows it, my friends do and my colleagues do. I have the western curse of wanting more and more with little to know appreciation for the things I have because all I am focused on is the next hurdle and thing. I didn’t grow up with much and my drive stemmed from knowing that to have anything in life was on my doing, and that I was not going to have anything passed down to me. Over the years though I have understood the word lifestyle and have aggressively worked towards that freedom. Initially it started with make more money, travel more which to some degree worked but in the long run focusing on my family first and everything else second was a revelation for my way of thinking and happiness. This change allowed me to carve my family goals first and everything else second rather than letting my time aggressive work take over and then feeling depleted and empty personally but successful on the outside.
2. Be Happier for others
Envy, Jealousy are evils that I wrestle with constantly. Some say its part of being constantly competitive and having a drive which I can relate to, though sometimes its so damn hard to watch others succeed effortlessly while you fight for every scrap. The simple fact is that I hate that feeling of being frustrated and sad at times that things do not go as I want them to be. I feel like a spoilt little kid not getting my way.
Learning to let go of my need for control which leads to me comparing will ultimately allow me to focus on only seeing the positives of other peoples successes and in time genuinely be happy for them.
3. Stand your Ground
Learning to say No was an easy one. But it does not stop me from getting involved helping other people with their side hustles, businesses and ideas. See, I have a habit of pleasing people, knowing that I have the resources and skills to create and build a lot online, but many times I end up losing time, energy, happiness and money because while in the end they benefit, I ultimately suffer and am left unhappy due to feeling burnt or under-appreciated simply because I run a business and that helping others has no to little cost at all… wrong. I love helping people, so the real purpose is to curate the selection process of who I help and not just act on the whim making sure that those whom I help will align with making sure my goals for me and my family are first.
4. Don’t be afraid of New Challenges
I have always looked at the accessible options openly available to learn and wanted to take time to learn and grow. I initially thought if I paid for a course or a platform that would encourage me to see it through… yet I failed. I have a nack for avoiding the simple and welcoming the complicated. What I learnt about myself is that the only times I am guaranteed to see something through is not because it has a financial tie but solely down to reputation to meet a need. Therefore I have carved a small budget aside to pay myself as a contract to learn courses. It sounds silly, but so far it has been working and I am to see it through and develop new skills rather than see them as accessible but bypass them daily with a thought of “I will check them out this weekend” and never doing so.
Secondly, Confidence. I have always been afraid of the limelight, I pushed myself to speak at TEDx not because I wanted to, but solely to push myself. Once it was done my body was as relieved as I was mentally. I was a wreck of nerves. To this day speaking still crushes me. There are speakers who never recover from this, but I am going to focus on the “singing in the shower theory” which I heard at an event speaking about everyone has a comfort zone that they can be themselves confidently which is why I have accepted enough speaking events this year to continue to break my fear but keep me mentally healthy from nerves.
5. Keep an Open Outlook
Learning from others is one of the simplest and easiest ways to growth hack yet it is so easy to miss and not listen to others when the opportunities arise. Communication in itself is a two way dialogue and I am categorized as an “aggressor” in my character type. So, I am making a note to self to Listen more, Interrupt Less, and ask more Questions from those who I can learn from.
6. Excuses need to die.
I am a master of words when it comes to excuses… It should be a hobby of mine. I am not lazy but a good excuse to get out of something I do not want to do feels great. The simple fact is that it limits me. I might as well be living in a bubble. Not only does it prevent me from many opportunities, it also stops people offering opportunities because I quickly find an excuse to escape. I am making it my mission to take time before immediately blurping out a no, or any reason to avoid an opportunity.
7. Eat the Diet
I love cheese, dairy, wine and bread… Seriously though it is a problem. I have zero limit, If I can eat it and fit it in, I will take all I can get. So rather than focusing on just stating getting in shape and patting myself on the back from hitting the treadmill followed by eating enough food for 6 people, I will focus on the simple things. Cutting my cups of coffee down by 1 per day until I can survive on 1 cup a day without losing my sanity. Then cutting out sugar except for special occasions so I am not socially awkward refusing someones time making a cake I really want to eat but for stubbornness to avoid guilt say no to. I am tired of feeling guilty over the cheat days, and workout slacking for traveling for a week, or not being able to keep a routine… so screw that, and I will focus on cutting out the basics which automatically make you feel better and healthier right?
I have a lot of happiness coming my way this year with our firstborn arriving early spring which my entire life will shift around, but I aim to keep this post as my accountability partner to keep my one post a month goal and stay focused on enjoying life with expectations set above, rather than long general lists of “destined to fail must likes”.
I wish you a productive and Happy New Year.
p.s. Thanks for clicking the 💙 if you enjoyed this post. It will help keep me motivated to continue to improve my writing.
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Ross is the Founder of Digital Agency Flo & Founder of Flothemes A Portfolio WP Theme Framework for photographers. Also Co-Founder of Productivity App Qubber.
