Accepting and conquering paranoia
Looking back in time, it is still difficult for me to accept the paranoiac person I used to be. On a conscious level, I was convinced I was this positive individual who had worked successfully at leaving all her negativity in the past.
The truth was that deep inside at the subconscious level, I was full of insecurities and fears that made me see the world as a hostile environment where I had to be careful of “those who could attack me, those who were out there to get me.” I was living as a victim of my own delusion, one I had inherited from my parents, who had in turn inherited it from theirs, and so on.
Without knowing it, millions of people live in that same paranoiac reality I describe. The degrees of severity, circumstances, and characters involved are different for each one of us but whether we accept it or not, whether we need to have a medical explanation for the type of paranoia we suffer from or not, many of us experience some type of social anxiety and many fears concerning our relations with those who are close to us, strangers, and even those who are not living anymore.
As I began identifying my paranoia, I realized the ways I was feeding it continuously through the information I allowed into my brain. This information came from family and friends I interacted with, or from books, magazines, movies, TV programs and news I used to read and watch on a daily basis. I painfully understood that in order for me to face my fears and stop seeing people as enemies working for this ‘self-created’ conspiracy aiming at my stagnation, I had to change all that was nurturing my negative self-talk. And so I did. I changed everything and everyone. Interestingly enough, some of the people I decided to disconnect from simply because their paranoia was not helping to heal mine, started reappearing after a while. It was as if through my own healing process they too had been healed and now I was relating with newer versions of them.
Examples of paranoid behavior
Perhaps you are wondering how did I know I was a paranoiac. The following are some examples of how I used to behave:
-I could not trust others.
-I suspected without justification that others were trying to trick me.
-I was jealous and suspicious about those I loved.
-I doubted the loyalty of my friends.
-I avoided talking about myself fearing the information would be used against me.
-I interpreted casual remarks or events as insults against me.
-I overreacted with anger to minor slights.
-I carried grudges and I even seek revenge.
-I was unable to forgive.
I could even go on to describe all the conspiracy theories I was believing in at that time but you probably see the picture clearly by now.
Unfortunately, many of us are not realizing their own paranoid states simply because we have been taught to see paranoia as a disease, a mental disorder. If our symptoms are not strong enough to raise a red flag, we ignore them without handling them properly. Denial is what blocks us from discovering the magnificence that comes after getting rid of our mental negativity.
A cure for paranoia
My transformation happened as soon as I began practicing a whole new way of perceiving the world. Slowly but surely, with a great deal of commitment, I realized this new and more positive perspective required the same amount of energy or even less than what I was already spending in creating an unhappy life.
Once I was able to fill my heart and mind with kindness and compassion for every single person that was directly or indirectly connected to me, I began noticing the most amazing results in my life.
This new and more positive approach to life was not as new as I thought. It is called pronoia and its origins can be traced as far back as ancient Greece. Pronoia is defined as “the belief the Universe is always conspiring on your behalf.”
By now you might be thinking that all this sounds too good to be true. I must admit my ego did everything possible to discourage me from practicing what sounded so woo-woo and new agey. After insisting on using high doses of persistence and patience, I was able to release my denial to see the world as a friendly place where I could live without worrying about others.
Can this be another case where one replaces a delusion with another delusion?
If by using this positive approach you are going to feel happier, more inspired, motivated, empowered and healthier, wouldn’t you too give it a try?
Until next time!
Originally published on www.roxanajones.com