Days goe by but it doesnt get any easier. Barely anynody talks about you anymore. I wore your hat the other day and a buddy of ours asked if it was matts and hearing him say his name made me happy because i dont hear it anymore. I even miss that annoying girl that was in love with Matt. She texted and asked for his ashes….then i was done with her. But i miss people asking how i am. She was his cheerleader back in high school. Totally not his tyoe but he was really nice to her after. Cajt ajyone just say “hey rox how are you really doing? Need to vent come to me?”. Nope i dont have that. ;( i have my husband who is wonderful but he misses matt too. I fuxking xant believe Matt did this. I have bad dreams so much about that day i found out.then laying on his bed.ugh.i fucking miss you and your voice and you picking on me. Dude we were supposed to grow old together.what the fuck.suicide really sucks. I cant tell you how horrible ky hearts hurts each day.today it hurts but i keep the pain inside.but it hurts.;( i cant believe at 25 i lost my momma.and at 28 i lost my brother. Mother fucker.i just wamna scream but thats why i get on here.These days ive realized the ones who really matter will never leave your side. Life is short. Love the family.my family is so messed up because of this.i used to have a full heart but not anymore.mother fucker.my favorite word. This is a good place to express anger.