High on the Tube

She’s seeing things

The kids?

Outside.

Daddy?

Washing dishes.

Mommy?

Relaxing after a long day of homeschooling.

She -

giggles

gasps

carries on conversations

with no one.

She’s either

a. snapped

b. harvested poppies for recreational purposes

c. begun shuffling YouTube

Do audible clues help?

You decide.

Quote -

  • She made birds out of sand! *gasp* Can you believe it?
  • Dear mercy! The human body is not meant to do that.
  • *gasp* That kitten just needs love. Yes you do! Yes you do!
  • Yap yap yap…why don’t you just shut up. OK…that’s enough out of you.
  • Add ice cream. Tell me she’s adding ice cream. *gasp* She did!
  • Well guess what, stupid. You got hurt because you’re stupid.
  • Look at your tiny hands! *gasp* They’re so tiny! Hello, tiny hands! Hello!
  • This Russian can balance on one hand. I can’t balance on two feet.
  • OK, can I just say those are not real. No way are they real.
  • Excuse me — please, PLEASE tell me why you’re a millionaire and I’m not.
  • You — yes, you —should not have children. Ever. EVER!
  • *gasp* This is exactly why I don’t ride rollercoasters. I’m getting sick watching this. God no. Stop this. Stop. Where’s the mouse? Stop.
  • Good God — another Marvel movie?
  • I swear Fortnite is fixed.
  • Wait — that’s a man? No! Wait. OK…wait. No.
  • *sigh* YouTube now has more commercials than TV.
  • When you’re old and you dress like that, it’s just not appropriate. No no no.
  • How could anyone let their dog get so obese? *gasp* Oh poor baby. He just needs love.