SalesCraft 10: Administration
Name: Lionel Butterfist
Title: VP Sales
Nickname: Eugene (after Eugene Krabs from SpongeBob)
People Say: Lies low — until end of month — then look out.
Can Be Found: Brushing lint from pink jacket. (“Salmon, friend. Saa-mon.”)
Brings to Company: Minor demolition was required to install imported, oversized desk
Tells the Team: “Talk is talk. Walk is walk. Doing is doing.” (Yep — just nod.)
Nobody Knows: First to arrive, last to leave office — only to avoid anyone seeing him crawl over desk to get out
Name: Paige Ng
Title: Sales Support / Customer Service / Ops Manager / Office Czar
Nickname: I wouldn’t
People Say: Knows more than all execs put together
Can Be Found: Selling plasma to pay rent
Brings to Company: Business planning that twice prevented bankruptcy (uncredited)
Tells the Team: “I’m on it.”
Nobody Knows: First-ever Uber driver. First-ever Lyft driver.
Name: Jennifer Gustafson
Nickname: Col. Jessup
People Say: Strong employee advocate. Not warm. Nor fuzzy.
Can Be Found: All out sprinting at treadmill desk
Brings to Company: Midwest common-sense. Decent benefits. Death stare.
Tells the Team: “Don’t do anything stupid.”
Nobody Knows: Zero military background. Just winters in Duluth.
Name: Tødø Nühtkaƶé
People Say: Albanian? Croatian?
Can Be Found: Two places at same time
Brings to Company: Network stability. Data integrity. Temporal displacement.
Tells the Team: Chirps, clicks, hoots — some real funky noise
Nobody Knows: A lot