Even Father’s Day Is a Feminist Holiday Now
Rachel Darnall

You’ll find this funny.

(probably not; just pretend)

My wife asked how to make Fathers Day special. I thought about it, making sure I considered a $0.00 entertainment budget.

I came up with The 4 B’s.

  • buttons: We have a button-maker, so I asked for three buttons with each of the girls’ pretty faces.
  • barber: I buzz off my hair with an electric trimmer every other week. I asked if she wouldn’t mind doing it. I think one of the girls is gonna give it a go. (They can do no wrong.)
  • baseball: I won a raffle at work and have 5 vouchers to see the Kane County Cougars baseball team. They play the Milwaukee Timber Rattlers this Sunday.
  • Brown’s Chicken: Gotz to have me fried chicken! Brown’s offers corn fritters with an avalanche of powdered sugar as a side vegetable.

I’m gonna be a shorn, family-goin’, Cougar-rootin’, powder-faced dad come Sunday.

If anyone finds that misogynistic, they can kiss my buttons.