Published inThe HavenTheophanyJesus said he would be much happier if I became a candlestick maker.Dec 224Dec 224
Published inThe HavenBannedI figured it was a technical glitch. Everyone in the group loved me, so I tried again and again to log on…Nov 2522Nov 2522
Published inThe HavenThe Awning IncidentIt was a nightmare, a bunch of wet zombies coming to get me, and leading the way was my own mother!Nov 1925Nov 1925
Published inThe HavenOld FriendsMy Polish neighbor Yakov is 86 years old, and every Saturday, he invites me over to watch soccer and drink plum brandy, which he makes…Nov 1129Nov 1129
Goulash“That was my bad,” I said, because after all, I’m not the type of guy who can’t admit when he’s made a mistake…Nov 729Nov 729
Published inThe HavenMalakasI once read in a conservative Christian Magazine that excessive masturbation can cause brain tumors.Oct 2827Oct 2827
Published inThe HavenA Strange Funeral Before HalloweenThree months ago, Beverly broke up with me, and ever since, I’ve been attending the funerals of strangers just to occupy myself…Oct 2130Oct 2130
Published inThe HavenThe Mysterious FruitcakeA few years ago I moved to a city in the northwest, and within a month, I was arrested for indecent exposure.Oct 1424Oct 1424
A Halloween StoryMy landlord called and said the other tenants in my building had been complaining about me. Apparently they didn’t like it when I walked…Oct 734Oct 734
