On new year resolutions and such.
….or something like that.
So apparently today (or was it yesterday) is the day new year resolutions officially start getting broken.
Which is not exactly a problem for yours truly, especially since I’ve stopped making new year resolutions a long time ago — why make promises to yourself that you don’t plan on keeping anyway, and aren’t there already enough people around you who disappoint or fail to deliver time and again?
Evidently, I needn’t be doing something I’d only end up bashing myself for later on, say, by something like January 28th.
But by my own admission: 2016 was a definitive year of sorts. I’m not entirely sorry to see it go because, at least there’s some semblance of organised chaos and things are beginning for fall into place compared to previous years (like, 39 years prior) where I’ve had my fair share of roller coaster rides in this crazy life of mine.
It’s nice to know that things are beginning to build up and I’m finally getting back into a groove that at least satisfies my inner control freak/over-achieving/unforgiving goblin: at least he hasn’t shown himself in a while that makes every effort seem insignificant because he thinks there aren’t enough victories.
At the same time, perhaps because of age, I do feel at times that getting back on a winning streak may have come too late because I’m beginning to feel very, very tired, and I’m wondering if I have the energy necessary to plow ahead to realize all the plans I’ve made. In part, age; but for most parts, I guess there’s the element of jadedness from the agonizing previous years of having to wait. And wait. And wait yet longer.
I’m not where I envisioned I’d be in my 40s — and probably still a long way off. But it’s finally a relief to be able to breathe, and freed from the strangle-hold of past disappointments, failures, and a whole bunch of other negativity.
Well, enough of my rants for now. Hope you all had a nice start to 2017, and if you are one of those who have already started breaking resolutions, well…there’s always January 2018. :P