Sean Plunket’s shirt, 2015–2016

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to remember the brief, if spectacular, life of Sean Plunket’s shirt. Born in inauspicious circumstances on the back of an invoice for an under-12s netball team uniform, Sean Plunket’s shirt nevertheless reached heights most of us could only dream of. From hamhock neck to slightly chafed nipple, Sean Plunket’s shirt showed us all what can be achieved when mediocrity and ambition meets the public purse.

Forever in our hearts

We remember Sean Plunket’s shirt not only for the memes, but for the slight feeling of unease we felt that perhaps this shirt might actually become the symbol of our nation on the world stage. From Bluff to Cape Reinga, we saw echoes of it on the spare tyre covers of Nissan Navaras, Weetbix packets and in our nightmares.

And so, we commend this shirt to the eternal sleep of Sean Plunket’s spare room closet. Ashes to ashes, must to musty.

Now, let’s never speak of this shirt again.

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