Roz Liddle 24/7/17

Me

Roz Liddle
Jul 24, 2017 · 3 min read

“Hello, is this the Bureau?”

“Yes, thank you for ringing. How may we help you?”

“Well, I don’t know if you are the right people to tell. It’s sort of difficult.”

“You take your time; take all the time you need.”

“It’s all wrong, all wrong. I’m sorry I don’t think … “

“Hey? Hey? You still there? Now, now, you wouldn’t have called if you didn’t think it was important. Hello, hello?”

“You must be right. I have to talk to someone. Others will not comprehend me.”

“Just start from the beginning and don’t leave anything out. Okay?”

“Well …alright. I noticed it last week, well, it was the flowers and the bees really, well, and that got me thinking. I mean, it’s not natural. Although my Gran always says “what is natural these days?” But that’s another thing, isn’t it. Oh! It’s all so confusing.”

“Now, all this is not helping. Take a deep breath and start again. What about the flowers and bees?”

“And then, there were the footprints, but they could have been an accident. Although, they were very curious, but then it’s very odd. Perhaps not odd, but very suspicious, or oddly suspicious? “

“I am sorry to interrupt, but you are not being very coherent. Have you been doping?”

“Look here; you’re not being, well, I don’t like your manner. I am just upset. If you’re not interested, well, I do not have to report this, then that’s fine.”

“No, no. I do apologise. My mistake. Really, I am certainly interested.”

“My Vernon said it would be best way, “just pick-up the receiver and press the deltoid button.” Never touched that before, I can tell you. Of course, you read about these things. Strangers amongst us, but then, we are all alien to each other really. Anyway, last week I was out in the park and there was this tent, shaped like a … like a conical shape thing, with a flap for a door and smoke billowing out the top. And all around are flowers and covering them, all these bees, never seen so many. Out steps something with this mask type article on its head and begins waving its hands about and shouting. Then it takes the mask off and, well, I just don’t know. It looks straight at me and screams. I mean, really, screams. I just ran, ran away.”

“You have done very well so far. Very brave of you. What happened next?”

“Well, I rushed home to my Vernon, but he was out. So, so, I paced and thought. Why all that shrieking … at me.”

“Then?”

“When he came home, he understood my distress; squeezed my hand whilst I looked in the magnifier and I saw, something puzzling.”

“And what was that?”

“Honestly, there I was, or should I say, there I wasn’t. Whatever was looking back, it wasn’t me. So here I am, I have pushed the deltoid button and am reporting myself. What happens now?”

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