R P Bird
R P Bird
Jul 30, 2017 · 4 min read

New Mummy? Where’d the old Mummy go?

Sorry, bad joke. Couldn’t resist.

As I’ve said elsewhere, fiction matters. Because fiction has the power to transform. From the formative power of Homer in the Greco-Roman world, to Uncle Tom’s Cabin and The Jungle, to Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, the power of fiction is undeniable in affecting social change. We need better fiction.

I used to be a script doctor back in the day. I’m not for long-winded critiques, my mind turns on how to fix the story rather than criticizing it. It’s how my mind works.

The new Mummy film is evidently a loss leader. The Brendan Fraser version from a few years ago is getting big play from the youtube reviewers of the new Mummy film. That’s a bad sign when a film from 18 years ago is considered a better film. Some of the reviewers straight-up admitted to watching the Fraser version online after coming home from the new Mummy…and went for the Fraser version wholeheartedly. Parts of the new film are almost direct steals from the Fraser version. Overall, the new one brings nothing to the table. It isn’t scarier, it isn’t funnier, and its action sequences are derivative. The only good part, the plane crash using practical effects straight out of Apollo 13…and that’s in the trailer!

They should have brought more to the table. Here’s what I would have brought…and this is inspired by my memories of Samurai Jack’s adventure in ancient Egypt and the deep waters of Egyptian mythology: the mummy is the avatar of one of the dark gods, Apep. The god (or goddess) of Chaos. Egyptian mythology is a lot like Star Wars mythology, there is a light side, the side of harmony, maat, and a dark side, chaos, izft. The gods are in a constant struggle to maintain and protect the universe, and life on Earth, from Apep and the other dark beings bent on destroying existence.

The main contest between the resurrected mummy and the heroes: to find a child, an avatar of Bastet, the cat goddess. Somehow it’s very, very important to the gods of chaos to destroy humanity. We are the pivot-point in the battle of the gods of harmony and the those of chaos. We are the key to victory. The Egyptian gods thought they had protected us, isolated us from harmful influences, to find our own path forward. They thought all the avatars of the chaos gods were sealed away, prevented forever from entering our realm. But still, just in case, every human generation, children are born somewhere in the world who are avatars of the gods of harmony. The mummy must destroy the present one…and the good guys must find her and awaken her.

I can see in my mind’s eye great dialog between the hero, the humans around him, and Bastet, like really smart small children pestering an adult with questions like, “Why is the sky blue?” Only in this instance it’s: “Why weren’t you watching us? Are you really gods? Are you half cat?”

“We have a universe to take care of. That stretches even an omnipotent being’s abilities. Besides, if you weren’t a bunch of very naughty children who can’t keep yourselves out of trouble, we wouldn’t be having this problem in the first place, would we?”

“I said I was sorry.”

“You haven’t said it often enough.”

At a certain point in the initial battle, with Bastet and the military fighting the unending hordes of dark spirits summoned by Apep and the other dark gods she has summoned through a wormhole. Bastet shouts…and the gods answer. All of them have come to this party. Athena, Zeus, Horus, Osiris, and many others. They take on their divine forms. The war for the future has begun!

I believe the source of the plot, Egyptian myth, gives the story an edge that a phony-balony Hollywood script wouldn’t have. Remember, Lucas studied Joseph Campbell’s works on mythology…so did I (Hero with a Thousand Faces, The Masks of God — all four volumes…these are the ones I read). Out of Lucas’s studies came the Star Wars universe.

If you like action, big ideas, and battles with giants and gods, you would have liked my version of The Mummy. But, unfortunately, Hollywood is, outside of Washington, the most narcissistic, inbred, soulless, and uncreative place on the planet.

Political close: But of course, this film would never be made. Hollywood is part of the Neoliberal Order. They are present to suppress ideas and critical thinking, that’s their role in our society. So any film with any interesting ideas from the vast corpus of mythology, science fiction, and fantasy are to be suppressed.

But never mind me. I’ll be over in a corner watching my DVDs of the Ghost in the Shell series, the Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy film from 2011, and Citizen Kane. And yes, they are a perfect match.

………………..

LINKS:

Where my books are: http://amazon.com/author/rpbird

Where I hide out: http://www.rpbird.com/

If you want to give me a couple bucks: https://www.gofundme.com/lastcomma

R P Bird

Written by

R P Bird

Professional writer since 1989. Author of the IN THE REALM OF THE GODS series and the SUZIE crime novels. In a dance with cancer for the last year.