You are who you are when you are born. Life either smooths, or roughens, the edges a bit.
The only real changes you ever see in people are those that come from living like who they are, and no longer some facsimile of who they imagined others thought they should be. Sounds like your seeing that now.
When the Jesus Freaks say, “Let go, let God”, they kinda have it right. When you let go of all of the shit that others think you should be dragging with you, you feel a lot lighter and more capable. When you decide to quit getting caught up in the thick of thin things, you start to concentrate on the things you can actually do something about. It’s not how often you say yes, it’s how well you say no.
Good on ya for realizing this at 30. It took me until I was 50. Some never get it.
And that life partner your looking for? Stop looking. Concentrate on those that give you more emotional energy than they take; on those that feel the same about you. Stay open to new people. When there’s no one around that moment that truly makes you feel better, enjoy the time along. Don’t settle for shitheads just to keep from being alone. One day you’ll do the math in your head and the one person who’s been there the longest, consistently recharging you, is your person. Until then, enjoy the ride. Cheers.