Translation of an Israeli Lobby Statement

Following a landmark speech by former Conservative minister, Sir Alan Duncan, JBOD — a prominent pro-Israeli lobby group, issued a statement condemning the minister and giving some pretty strong hidden messages. Here is the JBOD response, albeit, satirically translated so all can see what I think they are really trying to say.

The Board of Deputies (JBOD) condemns all remarks made by Alan Duncan in his speech to RUSI, and his interview on Radio 4, and boy are are we livid. In his speech he compared anyone who supported those internationally condemned illegal settlements on occupied land to homophobes, anti-semites, sexists, racists and any other category of bad people you can think of.

He didn't differentiate between this illegal colony and that other even more illegal colony. He also suggested that anyone who supported this blatant theft of land shouldn't be allowed to represent the people of UK in a democracy where support of an illegal act is not generally considered a good thing.

In an interview for BBC Radio 4, Alan referred to America as being dominated by a very powerful lobby. This was prior to a vote on Palestinian statehood when he was asked by the presenter why such a vote was needed — although to be honest the presenter never asked this as you can tell for yourself from listening to the clip (01.:55 onwards) but moving on.

He didn’t give the name of the lobby — we all know he is referring to AIPAC but we need to stress this this point so as to make it seem sinister. Moreover how dare he expose the American lobby in response to a question that was never really asked but moving on, why did the BBC representative not stand up for the illegal colonies by challenging him?

Our Vice President in a statement has has stated that Alan Duncan just hates us. Sir Alan didn’t even once mention how Palestinians throw stones at us when we encircle and bomb the living daylight out of them. He ignored the Conservatives Friends of Israeli memos and never once mentioned that the situation is so complex our only answer is to just carry on stealing and occupying. How terribly one sided of him!

If this wasn't bad enough, Sir Alan demanded that anyone who support the theft of land and creation of these illegal colonies (we know what he means, but again let’s pretend we don’t in order to make it all seem sinister) cannot be considered fit to represent people in a legally sanctioned democratic process. We want Sir Alan to understand the full repercussions of what will happen to whatever remains of his pathetic career in the Conservative party.

So considering all of this and his previous in this area, Alan then attacked all Jews in this country for defending Israel from those pesky stone throwing Palestinian kids.

Although in his speech he talked about illegal Settlements we won’t address or condemn this here once, instead we have setup his argument as a straw-man that anyone who defends Israel actually wants to destroy Israel. This is a blatantly false allegation against us and our fellow lobbyists and he needs to withdraw this allegation immediately.