Where does the love go?

I’ll always remember the SATC episode where Carrie asks, “If you love someone and break up, where does the love go?”

We now live in a digital era where escaping our past relationships means to relive each memory captured on camera that we’ve posted. All over our Instagram or Facebook pages, we see remnants of our former lovers. More often than not, if we love someone and break up, we delete content as if the relationship hasn’t taken place. I’m guilty of it. But why do we do so? For ourselves? Perhaps we do so to shield ourselves from the pain of seeing how “it once was.” Do we delete for others? Are we ashamed of the past we so dearly cherished when it was the present?

What if we were to embrace all that was? A relationship that has ended hasn’t failed, it has simply run its course.

A little over a year ago, I posted the photo and message below on FB. It was an “announcement” of the end of our two year relationship and a plea to our friends to reach out in whatever ways they felt compelled.

Since the post, I’ve acted in ways that definitely didn’t honor our relationship and my ex partner. But even that I don’t regret. Because in the past year of mistakes and growth, I’ve come to know the meaning of a love that doesn’t bind, but liberates. It’s a strange anniversary to “celebrate” but only because society deems it so and we always did march to the beat of our own drums.