Do you love me? Do you love me not?

lavenderlove
2 min readJun 18, 2024

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from pinterest.com

I can’t understand, why do you confuse me?

One day I’m the center of your universe, then the next I’m just a flower bud, standing tall to a fully bloom flower, waiting for the chance to flourish just the same.

Do you really feel the same way as me?

I have thought of giving up, but the vision of feeling the ‘love’ I could get from you the next day, led me to stay.

I sometimes wonder — Is it just me who loves you? Or do you love me too?

“Love the way you want to be loved”

I often hear this quote, but why can’t the way I love just be reciprocated? Why can’t you love me the same?

Your inconsistencies has led me every other night to rethink upon my decision — of loving you this way.

I once had an idea to give back what you were giving me, yet I failed. As much as I wanted to reciprocate the energy I was receiving from you, I just can’t — I can’t hold myself back from loving you….too much, I guess..?

But, maybe….It was my fault.

Maybe I expected too much in return which led to this heartbreak. Maybe I should just accept the fact that we don’t love the same way. We probably have our own way of loving one another. I wanted to be consistent, and maybe you wanted to be inconsistent — I just have to accept that, right…?

All I have to do is hold on, maybe wait for the moment where I’ll eventually break — where I’ll eventually be able to finally reciprocate your inconsistencies.

But before then, I just have to wipe away my tears, plaster a smile, and push away my thoughts — because at the end of the day, It’ll be us against the world.

With all my reassuring thoughts to myself, I still can’t help but think….

Do you love me? or Do you love me not?

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lavenderlove

A simple way of giving back to what brought me joy yet also despair—the world.