Robert Solley
Jul 22, 2017 · 1 min read

Interesting that I got one response that I’m catering to women, and here you’re saying that I’m thinking misogynistically! However, I appreciate your thoughtfulness and you raise some good points. I wouldn’t say men are incapable of handling strong emotions, just that it may be more difficult for them. I also think it’s too reductionistic to say that women should act accordingly, and definitely don’t think they should “sacrifice their needs.” But I do believe that partners need each other’s help (in both directions), which is part of the purpose of relationships. I totally agree that a lot of men need help understanding and processing emotion and that our culture doesn’t support men well in that realm. I believe that emotional intelligence is key to relationships, and my definition is understanding your own emotions, and another person’s, and being able to bridge between the two. The core of my work as a couples therapist is helping both partners understand the emotional messages they send each other in order to be more available and responsive to each others’ needs. I think you’ll see that if you read some of my other articles.

Thanks for your comments Josie!

    Robert Solley

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    Fresh takes on making your relationships secure.