Aug 25, 2017 · 1 min read
Unfortunately, I agree with you about that! I call it the “self-standard” problem, which is that we all use ourselves as the standard of behavior! However, in distressed relationships a major obstacle is almost always that each partner is primarily focused on the other’s faults without recognizing their own contributions to the negative cycles. If you make it your responsibility to improve yourself — rather than thinking you are the right one, as you point out — you are more likely to improve the relationship than by trying to change your partner, show them what they’re doing wrong, etc.. It’s also a more empowered position than making oneself the victim of the other.
