Who am I?
I started my self-knowledge process many years ago. As you get to know yourself, you start to recognise that during our life’s, humans do experience metamorphosis several times, exchanging one identity to another.
Even when you’re grown up, your identity is not fixed. Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking, but a full-on metamorphosis.
So, who are you?
Although I loved many aspects of my career in the corporate world, when I was confronted with motherhood at age 32, in the midst of a successful career, elements of the Self came into conflict.
I discover that unconditional love exists but also that my life will never be the same again, the catalytic event was set.
We call this phase one: Meltdown- Death and Rebirth, the first phase of the change cycle is the scariest, especially because we aren’t taught to expect it.
-Did you know the first thing the caterpillar does in this phase, in her cocoon is to dissolve?
Martha Beck, in Steering by starlight, called this process initially, as the three stages of steering by starlight to live from the stargazer´s vantage point.
“ The only part of you that cannot be blinded or misguided is the Stargazer.” (Bech)
I never had a talk with my husband, programming or planning what will be our future, our life with kids, we just want to extend our happiness and love and generate the fruit of our love. we never really talk about how kids will impact both our developing and promising careers, and what sacrifices each one of us would be available to commit to. We never thought about that, until everything came to my plate.
“The only part of your awareness you can never dissolve - because it is nothing-is the stargazer. This aspect of you doesn’t feel like an individual ego but only an integral part of a completely interconnected Universe.”(Bech)
It’s difficult to combine a successful career in a Corporate World and being a present Mom, adding a process of resiliently reinventing yourself, every time you change country, pursuing international careers.
I didn’t want to stop pursuing my sense of duty to make a better world and serve people. So, I´ve kept pushing myself to this conflict to endless battles with reality. Every day was showing me every obstacle in my way, and I just kept pushing myself until fall in despair! Until I question myself!
In the process, and rollercoasting my emotions, I’ve learned to check-in, How am I feeling?
One reason we tend to judge emotions as bad or negative, as Russ Harris named them in the Happiness Trap, is because they feel unpleasant.
In ACT- Acceptance and Commitment therapy foreword by Steven Hayes PhD, we encourage you to let go of judging your feelings, and to see them for what they are: a stream of constantly changing sensations and urges, continuously passing through your body.
So, I start to have doubts about my role in the corporate world, with few space to connect with my values, feeling each day more trapped, unfitted, unfulfilled!
I had to stop fighting with reality and find my real balance, my real purpose!
We call this phase two: Re-Formation, Dreaming and Scheming
-Did you know If we eventually try to pull out the butterfly earlier from the cocoon, she will die?
And so, I did, with my warrior spirit I´ve searched and searched. At the beginning it was an exhausting search, looking everywhere for my treasure, for my north star.
My curiosity leads me to explore many of my passions, like: cooking, books, neuroscience, spiritualism, intuition, psychology, yoga, sports, people, mythology, history, arts.
it was a long search, with some challenges, experiences, failures and a never-ending search.
Exhausted from my searches I finally learned to rest. Rest and play, rest and play, and just noticing. And there she was just looking at me!
We call this phase three: Emerging from the Chrysalis, The Hero´s Saga
-Did you know the hardest the emerging process from Chrysalis is, the more beautiful the butterfly becomes?
With a broader perspective a new self-emerged. 2 children and 10 years later here I am following my path, step by step in the WLCT.
We call this phase four: Full fight the promise land, knowing that another change is just around the bend.
My new self led me to identify my strengths, my weaknesses, how others see me, how I see / judge others and, check in with my values, and above all, what my purpose is. How can I serve this planet and live in harmony and with joy in my day-to-day life?
In this continuous process, that life is, every time something or someone starts to conflict with me, every time the mirror shows me myself, it’s time to inquiry and solve the conflict within.
You and the ones near you, are yours best Teachers. Stop looking and just notice.
Today my friends see me with a certain duality, on the one hand the friend, the Power Woman, full of strength, empowered, resilient, communicative, with a great capacity for active listening, to encourage, support, advise, find solutions, focused, with a high sense of leadership and a taste for accepting challenges, on the other hand, a blend of softness. Compassion, empathy, dedication, caring, adaptability, intuition, whose characteristics I fully recognize, as a collection of archetypes and not as a single one.
From inside through outside, I can see myself as a blend, of stylish and simplicity; of class and trendy. I can use my comfortable jumpsuit with never less forget my red lipstick or my earrings. I can cycle through my one wheel bike without forgetting my clutch. You don’t have to be black or white, with so many other colours in the palette. You can be, whoever your freely spirit chose to be today, wisely and mindy different from yesterday, giving to your body whatever propose you chose to.
There is a strong point in connecting and networking with other people, derived from my passion for people. The ability to make others feel comfortable and create bonds between people is a gift that can make a huge difference in our lives.
My main goal is to empower and inspire others to succeed and to discover their own brilliance.
As an Intuitive Life Coach, I believe that the true essence of our life is inside each one of us, and I, I have every interest in getting to know you.
April 2020
