Why teams are like toddlers

Team members collectively are like a 2-year-old. And I don’t mean this in a bad way. I know this, because I am a Mom to one and lead a team.

Most days my toddler and I get along famously. She loves me, manipulates me, fights me and I love every moment of time I spend with her. Most days I am a child-like ‘happy Mom’. I can take all her moods in my stride, be understanding when she’s having a meltdown, and can get down on all fours look her in her eyes and resolve our differences like any other bunch of 2-year-olds. Then there are days when I am the adult version of Mom — ’sourpuss Mom’. Sourpuss Mom lashes out when she’s tired, is loud and argumentative and gives a lot of time-outs.

Unfortunately, I’m just as bipolar with my team. And its not all on me. Teams can be lazy, need constant attention and despite any amount of coaching you can only take a sense of ownership so far. As a leader, you have more to lose by their defeat than they themselves have.

So I cajole, reprimand and feel guilty. I praise, call out mistakes and feel responsible. That’s just how it is. What does take a lot less effort is to begin addressing the problem from a place of empathy. Just like I get further calming a toddler having a meltdown by getting down on all fours, looking her in her eyes and asking her if she needs a hug.