Moving Beyond Log Kya Kahenge

Hindi saying which loosely translates into “What Will People Say”

Regardless of where you live in the world, if you are Indian or even just have a drop of Indian blood in you, I am pretty sure you have heard the Hindi words “Log Kya Kahenge?” which directly translates in English to “What Will People Say?”

Yes, those three words are what most Indian kids are brought up with. We are told to worry more about others’ perceptions of us than ourselves. And who are these others you may ask? They could be anyone-your neighbors, your friends, your friend’s friends, any aunty that you’ve met once at a party, and could even be a stranger at the neighborhood shop-so literally anyone. We are told that before we do anything or say anything, don’t bother about what you think or want, worry about everyone else first.

So, any time you think you can just do whatever you want, think, re-think and then answer the question: Log Kya Kahenge?

· Want to change your majors in college after two years? - “No, uncle will think you are a failure”

· Want to wear that dress to an Indian party? -“Wear jeans, aunty will think you will corrupt her kids”

· Want to go out on a date — (In public)? -“You can only date when you finish college”

· You need to lose weight-“You have to look good at your cousin's wedding”

· Want to get a tattoo? Where? Of what?- “This better be a joke!”

· Don’t post about your divorce on Facebook-“Aunty may see it”

Why do we mostly measure success by the dollars in our bank account? Why do we have to “win” everything? Why not do something just because it defines purpose and meaning for us personally?

In the process of always worrying about others, we forget who we are or what we really want. We learn to put our dreams and thoughts on hold and start to live by what others want us to do. We start measuring and defining ourselves with others’ benchmarks of success. We can only buy this mindset for so long until we realize that there is no one size fits all to “success.”

We as a community have to learn to break these societal norms and stop using the words Log Kya Kahenge by

· Helping our kids and ourselves stop living by the rules and judgments of others’

· Stop believing others’ opinions are what make or break our reputation

· Stop measuring ourselves against others’ metrics of success

· Start learning to drown the noise of other’s expectations

We need to change our ways today to let everyone live their true authentic selves and outline their own personal definition of success. And this can only begin with you and me: a much-needed change in our own mindsets.

This is a great time to talk about this while we are in 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 with our families. This experience has truly given us some time to self-reflect and really think of how “Change Is the Only Constant” and how our plans/lives can change in an instant.