How Come Nobody Ever Apologizes to Michael Jackson: Ryan White

On last week’s edition of How Come Nobody Ever Apologizes to Michael Jackson, we took a look at how the media tries to discredit Michael Jackson and his impact by calling him “The Self-Proclaimed King of Pop.” This week, we’re going to do a deep dive on how Jackson impacted the life of young man named Ryan White, who was diagnosed with HIV/AIDS in the late 1980s. Understanding the challenges Ryan White dealt with aside from the horrible disease itself, also means understanding the misconceptions about HIV/AIDS in the late ‘80s and ‘90s, and how those affected with the illness were treated as a result.

An official study conducted in March 2002 from PubMed Central aka PMC states:

“Stigmatizing attitudes are strongly correlated with misunderstanding the mechanisms of HIV transmission and overestimating the risks of casual contact and with negative attitudes toward social groups disproportionately affected by the epidemic, especially gay men and injecting drug users. Early in the epidemic, concerns about stigma led to public health policies that reflected “a commitment to rely on prevention measures that were noncoercive — that respected the privacy and social rights of those who were at risk.”

This, of course, is the “nice” way of putting the discrimination displayed towards those affected with HIV/AIDS. The sad reality is, those diagnosed were ostracized from work, school and public events, treated differently by their peers, called names and viewed as an “anomaly.” In Ryan White’s case, he was a hemophiliac who contracted the disease by way of a contaminated blood treatment. Upon receiving his diagnosis in December 1984, White was reportedly expelled from school, sparking a legal battle as doctor’s had already confirmed he was of no risk to the students and staff.

Despite the confirmation from doctor’s, many parents joined in on the mistreatment of White, signing a petition to bar him from his middle school. And that’s not all either, when White was allowed to return to his school for one day, many parents kept their students home out of fear, and when he was eventually allowed to return full-time as a student, White and his family had to deal with a number of threats, including gun shots being fired into their home. Simply put, the treatment of Ryan White was despicable, and as a result, captured the attention of many famous people, including Michael Jackson.

If you haven’t realized by now, sometimes people have a way of trying to make assumptions about the people that actually knew and had relationships with Jackson as a way to fit the narratives they’ve developed about him. So, we’ll let Ryan tell you himself about his friendship with Jackson as he authored a book, Ryan White: My Own Story, which was released shortly after his passing. Here are some notable excerpts courtesy of True Michael Jackson, who did the work of pulling them years ago.

About the Way He Was Treated

“When we went to restaurants, people would get up and leave, so they wouldn’t have to sit anywhere near me. Even in church, no one would shake my hand. Panic spread all over town. Lots of times kids flattened themselves against walls when I walked by. I heard kids telling Ryan White jokes. And grown people passed along lies about how they’d seen me biting people, or spitting on vegetables at the grocery store. I never did and I never would. When I finally did get back into class, after a judge said the school was wrong, an awful lot of people still wanted me gone.”

About his Friendship With Michael Jackson

“The one day Michael Jackson called me. Wow! I didn’t know why he had, except maybe because he’s from Indiana too. He was in his car, he said. If I lose you, man, I’ll call you back,” he told me. So I told him what I was doing, what movies I’d seen, what school was like, how John and I had been window-shopping for stereo — stuff I’d talk about to anyone. I said I was playing his albums. I liked “Man In The Mirror” the best. Michael’s not flaky or weird, like you read in those newspapers you can buy in the supermarket. He’s real quiet and softspoken. Sometimes he takes a while to say things. He’s just kind of gentle and peaceful. He was a nice new friend for me to have. “Next time you’re in L.A., we’ll get together and have some good old fun,” he told me. Well, I couldn’t wait.”

White continues:

“I felt very comfortable around Michael because I could see he was just as shy as I am. He seemed like a regular person to me. I certainly could relax with him.”

You can read more about White’s fun times at Neverland and what he had to say about Jackson in his book, but for now, we’ll go into White’s mother’s documentation of her family’s relationship with Michael Jackson as a whole. In a July 2009 interview with The Early Show shortly after Jackson’s passing, White-Ginder stated:

“Once you met Ryan, you didn’t feel sorry for him. Michael said, you know, Ryan never talked about his illness. And he said, you know, he never wanted anybody to feel sorry for him. So I think they really had this good communication of, you know, respect for each other.”

During the interview, White-Ginder confirmed that she had no reservations about letting her son stay with Jackson at Neverland. She continued:

“He (Jackson) didn’t care what race you were, what color you were, what was your handicap, what was your disease…Michael just loved all children. The little things made Michael so happy. You could see it in his eyes. He was smiling from ear to ear, and he said, ‘I was the last person that Ryan listened to.’ And I said ‘yes.’ Because Ryan played ‘Man in the Mirror’ over and over and over again.”

While Mrs. White-Ginder had given other interviews about her family’s relationship with Jackson, I specifically picked this one to highlight because it shows that her sentiments hadn’t changed after two decades.

White had been in the process of documenting his life for years, but once his illness progressed to the point where he could no longer write, his book was completed by writer Ann Marie Cunningham. Unfortunately, Ryan passed away on April 8, 1990 at just 18-years-old. According to the book, Jackson tried making it in time to say his final goodbyes, but arrived too late which left him distraught. Once again, these excerpts were captured from True Michael Jackson.

“About 1 A.M. on Sunday, Jeanne takes a call at Ryan’s bedside from longtime family friend Michael Jackson. Michael bought Ryan a red Mustang about a year ago, and the Whites have been frequent guests at his California ranch. Michael wants to come that minute. He is in Atlantic City. How long will it take you, Michael?,” she asks. Jeanne looks at a nurse wearing goggles. “Two hours?” she asks the nurse. The nurse shakes her head. “Michael, don’t come, honey. Ryan isn’t expected to last two hours. We know how much you love him.” Jackson says he’ll be there in-the morning, and he is.”

“As soon as Michael Jackson arrived, he went straight to the Whites’ home in Cicero. He was very upset that he hadn’t gotten there before Ryan died. He went up to Ryan’s room, which was full of his collections, posters, and souvenirs, including his director’s chair from the movie set. In the closet was the heavy new leather jacket Michael had wanted him to wear. Michael sat quietly looking at everything for a long time. Jeanne offered him anything he liked there as a keepsake, but he asked her to leave Ryan’s room just as it was.”

“In the Whites’ front yard sat the red Mustang Michael had given Ryan. Now it was covered with flowers and Easter eggs, gifts from children. Andrea took Michael out to show him the car and they sat in together. When Michael turned on the CD player, Ryan’s favourite song, Michael’s “Man In The Mirror,” began to play. Michael smiled proudly. He knew it must have been the last song Ryan had played.”

During the time of White’s passing, Jackson was in the midst of working on his eighth studio album Dangerous. He would then go on to record a rendition of the song “Gone Too Soon”, written by Larry Grossman and Buz Kohan, as a tribute to his friend. The music video for the track was also a tribute to White’s memory, showcasing various images of the teen, along with pictures and videos of the two together (you can watch the video here).

In January 1993, Jackson also performed the song at Bill Clinton’s inaugural celebration (full video here).

Prior to the performance, Jackson gave a short speech to the crowd in which he said:

“I would like to take a moment from this very public ceremony to speak of something very personal. It concerns a dear friend of mine who is no longer with us. His name is Ryan White. He was a hemophiliac who was diagnosed with the AIDS virus at 11. He died shortly after turning eighteen—the very time most young people are beginning to explore life’s wonderful possibilities. My friend Ryan was a very bright, very brave and very normal young man who never wanted to be a symbol or a spokesperson for a deadly disease”

“Over the years, I’ve shared many silly, happy and painful moments with Ryan, and I was with him at the end of his brief, but eventful journey. Ryan is gone, and just like anyone who has lost a loved one to AIDS, I miss him deeply and constantly. He is gone, but I want his life to have meaning behind his passing. It is my hope, President-Elect Clinton, that you and your administration can commit the resources needed to eliminate this awful disease that took my friend, and has ended so many promising lives before their time. This song is for you Ryan.”

It should also be noted that Jackson showcased this similar kindness to NBA hall-of-famer Magic Johnson upon his diagnosis with the disease in 1991. Like White, Johnson faced discrimination from the general public and even his fellow NBA contemporaries as they protested his return to the basketball court. In early 1992, Jackson hired Johnson for a role in his short film “Remember The Time,” once again showcasing his refusal to treat human beings like outcasts just because of a health condition.

It’s instances like these (which are just two of many) that highlight just how good of a person Michael Jackson truly was, and the impact he had on people.

To be continued…