
Life Challenges and their Meaning to Men
As men we will inevitably encounter challenges, pain, anger, obstacles. These come in the form of death, disease, and loss of position in any of the roles that one occupies. These events may sometimes threaten to paralyze one in their tracks. While others can be quite the opposite and be of a more positive note.
We all know of positive obstacles. We have all set out goals for ourselves, and we have all overcome obstacles to get where we wanted to, whether that be in sports, recreation, work, business, or relationships. What then can we say about obstacles. More so, the question to ask is, how should a man perceive obstacles, and what do they mean for him?
First lets tackle the problem of how a man should perceive obstacles. Lets take the simple example of a man challenging himself to get bigger, stronger, by going to gym. Through the struggles and discipline that he puts himself through every day he is able to eventually reach his goal. Although the example is simple, the end result was the self betterment of the man. Here is rule number #1.
Any and every obstacles put in front of you is a means to make yourself into a stronger and more developed man.
It is only through obstacles that we can learn and develop ourselves. What does one learn by failing and falling off a bike several times? One learns to ride a bike. What does one learn by failing at ones craft several times? One learns how to be better at ones craft. By facing “obstacles” or challenges, through repetition and failure, one becomes a more developed person whether this be physically or mentally. Why can this not be true for painful and hard events? Through the death people close to oneself, one learns how to better cope with the loss of loved ones. Through daily and continuous practice in a skill of ones choosing, one can become a master. Rule #2 about obstacles is the following.
How painful, and hard an obstacle or challenge is to overcome is proportional to the self development you can gain through conquering it.
Every obstacle or event that one deems ‘negative’ should not be viewed as such. It should be viewed as a ways of self betterment and seen as a challenge to be overtaken. Why view a negative event in a negative light, why not view it in a positive light? There is no reason.
If one has the capability to view events in a positive light then it would be a natural conclusion that one should not shy away from obstacles and challenges but rather pursue them wholeheartedly. There is one caveat though. One should pursue challenges that suit oneself. The software developer should challenge himself to write cleaner, more performant and readable code, while the investment banker should strive to provide his clients with the capital that they need as well as to provide the most wealth for himself and his company, but never vice versa. One should think about what activities one enjoys and challenge himself in those area. Here is rule #3
If one can view obstacles and challenges in a positive light then one should not shy away from them but rather pursue them.
The next question to answer is, what is the meaning of obstacles for a man and overcoming them?
Since ancient times man been thrown obstacles. We were the hunters and we were the providers, it was on us to return successfully with meat in hand or possibly have the tribe die of starvation. In ancient societies we also see that boys were put through a series of rituals in which he must prove himself before he can be considered a man in his peers eyes.
Things have drastically changed since ancient times but we as humans have not. We still see groups of men challenging and creating obstacles for each other. Groups of male friends will dare each other to do dangerous or challenging things to prove oneself to the group, while at work co workers might challenge each other to reach specific goals or targets.
As a boy grows older he will encounter and overcome more and more obstacles. With it his credibility and his own self worth should grow. This is my personal and biased view point, but I can never bring myself to trust or spend time with a man who has never seen or experienced hardship in his life, he seems weak and inexperienced in my eyes. This brings me to meaning #1 of obstacles for men.
Obstacles and challenges are what creates and molds a boy into a man. A man that can be seen by his peers as proficient in his domain through the experience and hardship that he has overcome.
As an adult, a man will continuously encounter failure, error, and struggles, and with it he will start to understand more about himself. With time one will also start to set self imposed challenges of ones choosing. This brings me to meaning #2 of obstacles for men, and perhaps the most important idea in this set of ideas.
Only through self imposed challenges and through their accomplishment can a man truly achieve self actualization.
Answer me this men. When was the moment you have felt the greatest bliss and sense of accomplishment within your lifetime. I will answer this for you, because I truly believe this is universal for us all. It was when you conquered a goal of yours. It was when you accomplished something you said you would. It might have been to make it into the varsity sports team in high school, it might have been to be the best at a game between you and your friends, maybe it was getting the job you told yourself you would get. In every single case it was the accomplishment of something you set out for yourself.
If there is anything you take away from this, it is this. Firstly, keep setting obstacles for yourself as only through their accomplishment will your own development and self worth move forward. Secondly, never rescind yourself to the opinion and thoughts of others. Learn to cherish and listen to your own self opinion.
