Swordsmithing Jobs Are Never Coming Back To America—Here’s Why
Despite a lot of bluster from Republicans that they’re going to restore our country to its former glory, little has happened since the election to support that claim. Specifically, they’re trying to sell the average American on a lot of hokum that they and they alone can restore America to its place in the clouds as a titan of the swordsmithing industry.
The fact of the matter is that swordsmithing jobs, whether they’re at the royal court or in a ramshackle hamlet in the hinterlands, are never coming back. Here’s why.
The sword economy bubble burst back in ’07 and swordsmithing has never recovered
As any economist can tell you, the bursting of the sword economy bubble back in 2007 caused irreparable damage to the industry, but most will shy away from the cause of this — America’s gross domestic product in swords (GDPiS for short) grew at an unsustainable rate from 1997 to 2007.
There are a lot of reasons for this jump in GDPiS, ranging from outsized reports of emerging goblin hordes to Bill Clinton’s ill-conceived “A Sword In Every Sheath” re-election promises during 1996. However when the bubble finally burst, everything from newly established corporate smiths like Blade Co. and SmithEasy to small mom and pop blacksmiths went under. We’re not likely to ever see that level of unchecked swordmaking ever again, and it’s unwise to promise it.
Millennials have been disrupting the cursed sword industry for years—and aren’t interested in buying normal swords either
Don’t expect millennials to save the swordsmithing industry. Reuters reports that fewer than 20% of millennials were open to the idea of purchasing a cursed sword, and only 45% of those who responded in the affirmative knew where such a sword could be purchased.
Increasingly, millennials are eschewing traditional dark magics in favor of apps that curse foes and ex-lovers from afar — sword cursing apps such as Vorpl and SENGO that connect users to independent contractors have reported huge earnings in the last year alone.
As befits the so-called “me” generation, millennials are obsessed with individuality, and many regard swords—from the simple arming sword to the Indian talwar—as relics of their parents’ age that don’t represent their unique outlooks. Instead, they opt to go into battle wielding flanged maces, war picks, sustainably sourced shillelaghs and even the exotic meteor hammer instead of using weaponry that they overwhelmingly associate with baby boomers.
We need to focus on helping swordsmiths adapt to a changing workforce
If Republicans want to continue to promise a return to the golden days of swordsmithing, they’re free to do so. In the meantime both establishment Democrats and Leftist organizers should focus on helping out-of-work swordsmiths develop new skills to help them earn their daily bread.
Teach a swordsmith to disarm traps and you’ve set them up for a new career delving into the forgotten temples and subterranean fissures that dot America’s heartland. Instruct them in the basic arts of skullduggery and you’ve got a footpad in the making who’s as at home in a major city as they are holding up carriages on our highways. Teach a former swordsmith to use magic and they may someday be able to transport themselves to another plane of existence entirely, at which point they’re not our problem.
If we want to protect our nation’s most vulnerable people, we need to give them the tools they’ll need to succeed in the future, not just promise them a return to the past.