It’s not enough that you think you love me. I should also feel loved.

I don’t.

People move on and leave me. I am a convenient, safe way to dream. They retreat into me to lick their wounds, hide from the world while they plan their escape. And then they are gone and I am still here, left with the scraps and mess they are free to walk away from.

They never look back to see if I’m ok. They are just gone.

I want to have a love affair with you.

I want to be unstable with you and not scare you into thinking I won’t be strong when it’s needed.

I want to weave your scent into my work and still own it entirely.

“Have you ever thought about me…about us — ”

“ — you’d break me…” he protested as she touched her velvet to his, inhaling the crumbs of his soul through her parted lips.

“Is everything ok?”

No! Nothing is ok. I’m lonely and scared… I need to be touched and touch you! I feel incomplete, small and insignificant… unloved and unlovable. Nothing. Is. Ok.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“It’s gonna storm later. Make sure the windows are down.”


Rufus Shepherd

My name is Rufus Shepherd. You followed me here.

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