This is a terrible idea.

“What are you going to do with that?”

I like my default email signature. It includes where I am, when I’ll be done, and what I’m studying. In my opinion, it sums my situation up pretty well.

Apparently, this is not the opinion of others. It’s often met with the query that all 19-year-old college students love to hear: “What are you going to do with that?”

Great. Question.

I usually mumble (or begrudgingly type) a halfhearted response. “Uhh….journalism or writing, I guess…” Problem solved, right?

Nope. “Oh, that’s amazing! What have you written?”


It has recently come to my attention that a short-lived stint at Loyola’s student newspaper is not solid enough ground to build a writing career on. Shocking, I know. Mid-caffeine high, I had this dialogue with myself to address the problem:

Build a portfolio! Get experience!
Start a blog!

There’s just one problem: it’s 2017 and I’m a goddamn millennial. F*ck blogs.

So……. this is Yup. It’s a thing. Great.

A Terrible Idea

Or, more appropriately, a series of terrible ideas.

I don’t know who invented Medium. I have neither the patience nor the will to Google it. Whoever it is, though, made a huge mistake. (I Googled it. It’s @Ev. Thanks Ev.) It has taken me ~5 minutes to figure out how to use Medium. This stream-of-consciousness piece will take me ~15 minutes to write. 20 minutes is not enough time for me to contemplate what I’m doing.

In addition to my portfolio issues, it has also come to my attention recently that I am sick of hearing my own voice and the things that I say. Clearly I’m not going into the right field.

Which leads me to the second terrible idea: what am I doing?

As this screenshot’s caption keenly demonstrates, I have mastered every Medium feature.

It also notes that I’m growing increasingly intolerant of my own ideas. I have no reason to believe anyone else would be tolerant of my ideas. (If you’ve made it this far down the page, kudos to you.)

Fortunately, that’s not the point.

I need the experience of writing. I want to see my pieces collected in one place. I don’t know, maybe someone will read them. My parents will probably read them. My sister won’t. That’s fine. Really.

I’m going to write about what I know. I know about Starbucks, technology, literature, politics, Starbucks, entertainment, religion, Starbucks, my hatred of Cleveland (don’t @ me), and why I support the Oxford comma.

Maybe I’ll also write about what I don’t know.

No you won’t.

Yeah, you’re probably right.

This part of the piece felt like it needed a picture. Here’s a picture of me reading the school newspaper that I stopped writing for. Again, don’t @ me.

Let’s see how this goes.

If you read my stuff, thanks. I’m just getting some experience here. Let me know what I should do better.

If we’re being real, the odds of me ever writing another thing for this are unlikely. But it might pay off.

It won’t.

Shut up.


p.s. I won’t ever write about the Oxford comma. I promise. I’m not that bad, I swear.