Lessons from the World’s Best Unicorn People
Real-Life (Unicorn) Homo-Sapiens
I’ve been hiding.
Not, like, physically ducking behind people or buildings to stay away from civilization or anything. I’ve been hiding inside myself.
I’m not a shapeshifter or anything remotely similar to that. I am, however, someone who has only recently tapped into a groove of magical energy. Unicorn energy, as I like to say.
What the heck is Unicorn Energy??
I like to explain it as a gold mine of productivity, positivity, patience, gratitude and ambition. That’s how it feels for me. Your gold mine might have different values — but we’ll get to that later.
For now, I’ll start with why you’re reading this article in the first place: learning the ways of the Unicorn People that came before you.
What is a Unicorn Person?
A concise answer is a person who impacts over a billion people.
The longer, likely more vague seeming answer before reading the rest of this article, is people like Vinod Khosla, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos.
What do they have in common?
The best U.Ps have optimized a life-changing mindset, which is outlined really well in this article. Seriously, check it out. You’ll be well on your way to becoming a Unicorn Person.
It has been proven time and time again that one of the most common methods of learning is through mimicry. It plays a massive role in developing our social skills. We mimic our parents, often both the good and the bad, or even without knowing *insert frustrated, angsty teenager here*.
Unconscious mimicry is used as a way of determining whether or not someone is listening to you in some cases. It is not uncommon that we adopt similar mannerisms or postures as the people around us.
Why have I detoured to talk about mimicry? Because I’m hoping you will soon be using it consciously.
We’ve got this instinct to fit in, love it or hate it. Sure, tons of people go against the grain, but they’ve done so intentionally (for the most part). Imagine all the power you tap into as soon as you begin to be conscious of the behaviour you’re observing. I want you to do this.
In this article, I’ve condensed valuable lessons I’ve learned about some of the most notable Unicorn People to exist, and I’ve sorted it into key takeaways.
Ruhani, if someone is a Unicorn Person, how can they only have one key takeaway? Isn’t the whole “unicorn” thing meant to describe someone that’s optimized multiple notable changes in their life?
Obviously, they have a huge wealth of knowledge to share. The best way for me to absorb all the information and really begin to look into how each individual person thinks was to find a major theme in their stories that resonated with me.
Here it is again, louder for the people in the back: these takeaways are simply what resonated with me.
They may not resonate with you. You may find the takeaway I’ve listed is not the most important lesson to be learned from that figure and I agree with you.
It may very well not be the most important takeaway, but it sure was the one to have the most profound effect on me as a developing Unicorn Person.
Ruhani, you’ve written an article about lessons from Unicorn People without being one yourself?
Yes, I am still in the process. I hope that I always am. One of the greatest things to note about Unicorn People is that they never stop improving, growing and working on what they’re passionate about.
The purpose of this article is to share some of the most important practices and beliefs that notable Unicorn People actually execute. I’m not writing a step by step guide on how to become a Unicorn Person. I’m still learning how to do that. I’m just sticking a flag in the ground as I go about my journey to stop and proclaim what I have learned so far. For now — onto the lessons learned! *cue magical whisking away*
Note About Motivation
Alright, so I might’ve been a bit premature with that segway.
The beginning of the road of research began with looking into motivation. Ack, another teenage take on ’being ambitious’ *eye roll* No, no. This is serious. Motivation really is where it all begins.
All the U.Ps that ever were, are or are ever going to be, started with an innate desire to get something done. This is motivation. This process is started, propelled and finished with an ongoing supply of cold, hard grit.
You can’t absorb a plethora of lessons, go through the struggle of adopting them and transform without this. What does it mean to have grit?
Guts - to have the courage to do something scary → this is accepting all of the lessons that you must adopt
Resilience - to adapt when undergoing significant stress or difficulty → this is continuing with your transformation despite resistance
Initiative - to find out what it is that you need and taking steps to get it → this looks like asking for help when needed and reaching out to other UPs for advice
Tenacity - to persist → that is, with your journey as a developing/developed UP — don’t slow down
But it’s even more than just grit. The grit is needed to truly persevere in these next 4 principles (for more on some of these principles, check out this awesome video by Ray Dalio.
- Think for Yourself About What is True
- Don’t be privy to a herd of sheep, develop principles
- These are smart ways to equip yourself for things that occur often
- To acquire these, spend time reflecting on mistakes
- “Unless you want a life directed by others you must decide what to do and have the courage to do it” — Ray Dalio
2. Embrace Reality and Deal with It
- Grow to love the process of falling down in pursuit of your dreams, but getting up and doing it again
- Be hyper-realistic to truly see things as they are, not how you wish they were
- “Truth is the essential foundation for good outcomes” — Ray Dalio
3. The Two Biggest Barriers: Ego and Blindspot
- Ego: the part of your brain that stops you from acknowledging your weakness without bias to improve them
- Blindspot: when you believe you can see everything, but alone, no one can — everyone thinks differently and perceives the world differently
- “How important is it for you to achieve big goals? vs. How much do you want to avoid the pain it might take to get them?” — Ray Dalio
4. Failure is ABSOLUTELY Key
- Work on having a growth mindset — this is when success feels like never being satisfied
- This is the best way to learn literally anything
- You are a cog in the machine of evolution and the only way to contribute is to look beyond yourself and see the picture
- Notice I didn’t say “bigger picture.” Your life is the picture
- You have to experience the lows to distinguish the highs
Feeling ready to begin acquiring some of that Unicorn Energy I mentioned earlier? Let’s get into what the goats had to say *oop, wrong animal* — I mean, the unicorns. The G.O.A.T Unicorns.
Unicorn Energy Jackpot — Lessons Learned
Elon Musk → Key Takeaway: The necessity of failure
A lot of people are afraid of failing. This is an irrational fear. You aren’t actually going to “die” of embarrassment or shame. You might lose some money, depending on the scope of your failure, but that’s a different fear in itself. The greatest amount of progress lies in the things that cause us the most discomfort. Elon is a perfect example of this.
He began coding when he was 12 years old. Later on, in life, he started a company called Zip2 with his brother. They sold it for $307 million in cash — Elon was only 28. But the story obviously doesn’t end there — with all the money he had, he still wasn’t satisfied. He wanted his company to make a massive difference, so he started on his next project, X.Com. this company later became PayPal — a service that has now changed the entire financial industry forever. When PayPal was then sold to eBay, Musk made $180 million from the sale. Jeepers, right?! This guy is killing it!
But the tale I’m trying to tell is the importance of failure. Allow me to continue to paint this picture but in greater detail. Musk’s next project was SpaceX. He began by funding the company with the majority of his personal net worth, about $100 million. SpaceX had three failed launches before it succeeded.
Why is this a big deal? I’m not going to answer with its implications in science and technology, but instead, the details of how those three failures eventually lead to success. Elon was in financial turmoil by the end of the third launch. He had planned to give it three attempts. His fourth attempt was originally unplanned for. But each time, he would figure out how to remedy what had gone wrong previously. He has failed. Many times. That, in part, is the reason why he has also succeeded. Many times.
Check out this 3-minute video, you’ll see what I mean.
This is so incredibly important. Why is that I have never heard a single person exclaim “I love failing!”? Because we all prefer to succeed. Duh. (and also, probably a little bit because most people don’t exclaim things to me with a huge amount of enthusiasm on a day to day basis) The point is — learn to love losing.
Will Smith says to “Fail early, fail often and fail forward.”
That one probably has a nicer ring to it — nevertheless, my favourite is probably “Give yourself permission to have lived a life with amazing experiences and amazing mistakes,” —
We hold ourselves back and blame ourselves for a multitude of things — don’t let failure be one of them. Pat yourself on the back for those — hard enough that you stumble into your next project.
Vinod Kholsa → Key Takeaway: Progress requires honesty
I really love this guy. I only just learned about his existence, but this is an honest case of better late than never. He’s incredibly honest and it’s so refreshing. Candor is underrated in my opinion.
Now, this man is incredibly big on how “failure does not matter, success matters”. Similar to the takeaway I’m so smoothly transitioning away from now *pats self on back*
Although the purpose of this talk was about accepting failures, what drew me to Kholsa was his personality. He was just so honest and upfront, uncompromising about saying what he wanted to and when while still being respectful. I think that’s an amazing skill to have. It’s quite rare to find people who have so much eloquence that they can be forthcoming but firm and polite all at the same time.
Watch the talk. You’ll catch my drift. Regardless, take my word for it; this man knows when to spend his time talking and what topics to spend it on.
Why is this an important aspect of a unicorn person? It all comes down to being authentic. Saying what you think, how you feel and having the power to be assertive in doing so is… (tries to think of a new way to say super-duper important) …super-duper important.
No matter what capacity you wish to work in, say an entrepreneur, innovator, manager, employee etc. it is absolutely crucial to say what you mean and mean what you say; always.
Jeff Bezos → Key Takeaway: Have high standards
Jeff is incredibly self-aware about sticking to what he believes in. As cliché as it sounds, it really is a very difficult thing to do in practice.
Having high standards means focusing your energy on being your best at all times. It means producing things the best you can at all times.
He really believes in making small things big. This has to do with his multi-billion-dollar company, Amazon.
The larger a company gets, the smaller they have to act. Focusing on customers not competition is key as per Bezos. I feel that a similar concept applies to remain humble and open to learning as we progress in life. Your head should never get too big to accept feedback.
He also said a lot to about passions.
“You don’t get to choose your passions, they come to you, but you must be alert…sometimes we let our intellectual selves overrule our passions”
I find this extremely disheartening. Our intellectual selves must have the same capacity of holding the same standard as our passions do.
“A few big successes compensate for dozens of things that didn’t work,” and that’s something our intellectual selves need to be reminded of often. This goes back to what Vinod Kholsa preaches about people remembering your successes — not your failures.
Acting is a huge part of his message too. When he talked about how stress primarily originates from NOT taking action, I found myself having lost track of time watching his interview, perched at my desk in the darkness of my room with the brightness of my laptop screen illuminating my face as I muttered to myself: “that’s so hecking true.”
Minimize your regrets — for me, that meant minimize regretting not working on something I’m passionate about. Make it a priority. Get to it.
Chamath Palihapitiya → Key Takeaway: You are what you value
Chamath here is HUGE on values. He found that whenever he felt his life was unbalanced, he could trace the cause back to one of his three values not meeting his standards.
Self-awareness is power. I agree with this 110%. As someone who values emotional intelligence and coherency, I really did resonate with him explaining the importance of developing an opinion that matters.
Being self-aware is hard. Being objective is hard. You’re not a bad person for nodding your head in agreement with me as you read this.
It’s called The Endowment Effect. Human beings naturally defend their beliefs and ideas for the simple reason of association. Even our brains believe that our beliefs are a part of our identity. It’s actually quite a vicious cycle, bias, that is. Once you begin to believe something or gain an impression, your brain picks up on things that support the initial idea you had.
Be a fighter. Fight this instinct. Identify your strengths and weaknesses so that you may define your values and beliefs with objectivity.
Naval Ravikant → Key Takeaway: Life is short, focus on what matters: the present, long-term relationships and continuous learning.
This takeaway is kind of a triple threat. It encompasses the details by which you should focus on what matters. How do you go about doing those things?
Focusing on the present has to do with developing good habits to take care of yourself, recognizing your bad habits and demolishing them and surround yourself with people who encourage you to do this.
Focusing on long-term relationships, unfortunately, requires a degree of hyper-realism, which not everyone is comfortable with, and I get that. But the only way to make changes to your life goes back to what Chamath says too about being objective. Find people that cultivate you and truly make you want to be a better person. This is a cliché. I am aware. But once you meet someone who makes this true for you, you’ll comprehend the importance of it. I know I did.
Lastly, always be learning. Reading for value is something Naval is big on.
Why are these things important? Because you’re continuously becoming aware of how you spend your time. You’ll make your time count.
Michelle Obama → Key Takeaway: Use your attitude to implement change
I watched a speech from a couple of years ago, in which Michelle Obama talks about supporting military families in America and the importance of familial values. It made me feel like a proud American as I sat there watching it as a relatively patriotic Canadian.
While the topic may not be entirely relevant to this article, it does certainly tie into values. I found myself feeling inspired to focus on how I viewed the world. Her sincerity and resilient attitude resonated with me.
This video doesn’t so much explain the takeaway, it is more so an example. She refused to be known as “the President’s wife.” No, no, this formidable woman is Michelle Obama. She used her platform to speak about the things she cared about, and she still does. A quote from her that I love:
“It’s not your circumstance that defines your future — it’s your attitude.”
You really do control your life. You control how you react, act and care about things. Aren’t those really all that matters about any single person that’s alive? How they react to, act on and care about themselves, the world, issues and others?
Key Takeaways
Here’s a handy run-down of the takeaways I’ve included from the G.O.A.T UP’s
- Elon Musk → the necessity of failure
- Vinod Kholsa → progress requires honesty
- Jeff Bezos → have high standards
- Chamath Palihapitiya → you are what you value
- Naval Ravikant →life is short, focus on what matters
- Michelle Obama → use your attitude to implement change
Next Steps
You’ve made it all the way down here, what’s next for you?
a) Repeat the key takeaways as a mantra to yourself in the mirror for the next 30 days
b) Watch an interview of each UP mentioned in this article
c) Attempt to replicate a success story of a UP by detailing the most important actions they took
d) Disregard the paths of success outlined here because it chalks up to pure luck and circumstance
Answer: e) What the UP inside of you wants to do
You don’t need to memorize any of the takeaways, study these people in depth or try to clone their paths to success. Your success will be different from any other single person on this earth.
Something I’ve been told quite frequently over the past couple of months is that you cannot expect to achieve unconventional success by following a conventional path.
This is true. You can’t replicate someone’s mindset, values or success path. I mean. If you really tried, you might get really close — but that’s beside the point.
Everything that you do, you must do with the intention to gain insight. Incorporating some of the takeaways highlighted in this article is a wonderful way to start, but you’ve got to tailor them to fit your vision and complement your strengths to develop your values.
If you enjoyed this article, give it a 👏 and follow on Medium.
