Why Am I Judging?
When you see a good person, think of becoming like her. When you see someone not so good, reflect on your own weak points. — Confucius
Whenever I find myself judging a person, I try to remember to ask myself the question, Why Am I Judging?
We as human beings have a natural tendency to judge others. It feels comforting, helps us make sense of things and validates us.
What I’ve found is that the stronger my reaction (that person is a bit lazy versus that person is completely useless!), the more there is to learn about myself than the person that I’m judging.
As such, I try remind myself to let such moments be a trigger to reflect. A sign to turn inwards.
Sometimes it reveals something that I’m uncomfortable with in myself.
If I feel strongly about someone’s laziness for example, then it reveals more about myself — that I myself am lazy and I’m not okay with it and therefore react emotionally when I see it in others.
The key signals to look for is emotion and vocabulary.
Someone that has been late to all of the past meetings — you have data points that tell you this person’s behavioral trait and you have good reasons to presume that this person will probably continue to be late to future meetings. You can do this without having emotions…
