Its 3.43 am and sleep evades me.

Studies show that these new modern technology are disturbing our sleep. But is it a catch 22?

What has disturbed me? I reach for the clock and look at the time its that dreaded numbers I see again… 3.43. I roll back over and try to get comfortable, the legs twitch and I have to clench all the muscles to get the twitching to stop. That simple act pumps blood through my body and my brain wakes up just a little bit more. I try and lie very very still, to silence my mind, to imagine myself counting my meditation beads, and I can feel it working. Then like a trigger the body twitches again bringing my mind back to the present.

The inevitable occurs and my hand involuntary reaches out to the bedside table and finds what it is looking for. We, I say we, because all my personalities are now paying attention. We love this distraction. Its helped us through many nights of sleeplessness, many nights of feeling like the world is too much.

Fill my brain with puzzles, stop the thoughts. Make me think how to solve something, don’t listen to the emotions.. whatever these emotions are: the worries of my health, the dramas of my family, work issues, or just the plain stress of not being able to get back to sleep knowing full well the alarm will be sounding in a few hours. Fill the brain with word puzzles, number puzzles, logic puzzles.. anything to stop the brain and its irrational 3.43am thoughts.

It finally works, I can feel myself drifting off, and the phone starts to slip from my hand. I lay it down, roll over and go back to sleep.. for just a few minutes. It’s 5.12am, and the alarm will go in 18 minutes.

18 minutes of blissful sleep.

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