From Twitter: A Bunch of Facts & Confessions

Some goofy twitter nonsense I’ve decided to participate in

It looks like a bit of Facebook — no wait, Myspace — no wait, Livejournal — no wait, chain emails from the late 90s — has made its way onto Twitter. I don’t mean this to be disparaging. I secretly love these things just as much as when I was a 13-year-old with an AOL address.

A lot of these are like mini-stories instead of confessions, but shush.

SO, THE FINAL COUNT: 30-ISH

  1. When I started college, I enrolled as a film major and wanted to study screenwriting, but I went to school during the roughest stage of the education budget cuts. Tons of the classes I wanted to take were either cut or impacted, meaning it was infinitely more difficult to get in. I rage-graduated with only an English major completed to try my luck out in the world instead of waste my tuition waiting around.
  2. I still get weekly favorites on a Yu-Gi-Oh fanfiction I wrote when I was fourteen (I was pretty obsessed with the Kaiba brothers). I take an unreasonable amount of pride in this. No, I won’t link it.
  3. I struggled with a really weird phobia for most of my life and still do. This prevented me from doing things like playing Left4Dead or watching certain episodes of South Park. I only recently worked up the bravery to see a psychiatrist about it, and she diagnosed me with OCD after a few sessions. I’m doing tons better now, it’s been amazing. Mental health is important, folks.
  4. My first email address was “AnimeKid517.” :(
  5. I wrote the first Thassarian x Koltira fanfic on the internet while Wrath of the Lich King was in beta. I also take an unreasonable amount of pride in this. I’ll totally link this one.
  6. In 2nd grade or something I once wrote a story about a wolf spirit trapped in a girl’s body. A girl in my class read it, laughed, and told the whole class that I “thought I was part wolf.” I still hold this among the meanest things anyone’s ever done to me. It wasn’t even in first person, idiot.
  7. I’m currently working for someone I indirectly idolized when I was a teenager. Sometimes I have to stop and reality check myself on this. I’m hugely thankful for the opportunity.
  8. I was part of the interview panel for Harrow at Riot. He’s my fiancé now. Whoops. #corruption
  9. When I was young I set up a trap in the backyard to catch a bird. It consisted of a picnic basket, some bread crumbs, and a string. I sat outside for many hours thinking I was brilliant and was totally gonna catch a bird and all my friends would think I was the coolest.
  10. About two years ago, Patrick Scarborough came over to my apartment. We’d planned to go out for dinner, but quickly became too lazy to leave (err, and also drunk, probably). I only had two potatoes in my kitchen, so I apologetically baked them as “dinner.” In our conversation over those potatoes, Patrick changed my life.
  11. Like every other teenage girl, I started with a huge crush on Legolas from Lord of the Rings, but by the second film I’d developed a bigger crush on Pippin. I’m now engaged to a Scottish dude. I… have a type.
  12. I admit that I don’t really “get” Star Wars quite so passionately as a lot of other people like me. My only way of explaining this is that I didn’t see it during the most impressionable window of my youth. That space, for me, is occupied by Final Fantasy VII. I have the same obscenely immune-to-critical-thought love for that game that a lot of people, as far as I can tell, have for Star Wars. I mean, like 50% of Return of the Jedi is ewoks doing stupid crap like throwing rocks at armored Storm Troopers. I’m just saying. In the same way, there’s a section of FFVII where Cloud rides around on a dolphin. It’s fine. We love these things anyway.
  13. I used to be one of those women who claimed that I “didn’t like girls” in order to be seen as cooler in the eyes of my dude friends. The majority of my friends were male and I was afraid I’d lose them somehow. I said I wasn’t a feminist, because I was afraid they’d see me differently. I deeply regret this more than I regret most things.
  14. Here’s the short version of a longer story I once told at The Moth, where names are drawn out of a hat and storytellers go up on stage to share: I staked a dude in early high school. Now, that makes it sound a bit worse than it actually was. In reality, we’d been each other’s secret crush in middle school, but in high school he’d suddenly stopped talking to me. Feeling abandoned, confused and beset upon by teenage hormones, I went to his house to try to confront him. After standing on the lawn, paralyzed by fear, for what felt like an hour (it was probably more like five minutes), he and his friends emerged from the doorway and stared at me. They’d apparently been hanging out and noticed me awkwardly, you know, pacing around on his front lawn. I ran home.
  15. I hate bananas, pumpkin seeds, and fish & chips because I’ve had the flu with or gotten food poisoning from all of these things.
  16. A lot of people that I’ve known who have been extremely into tabletop games/RPGs have come off as super elitist jerks about it. I tried to learn from them on several occasions, but really ended up feeling pushed away or treated like an imposter more than I felt welcome. I admit that I now carry a bit of a completely unfair bias towards anyone who tells me how much they love D&D or whatnot because so many people like that have been absolutely terrible to me when I’ve tried to learn about their hobby.
  17. I first learned that I thought slash fanfic/fanart was “pretty hot” when I stumbled across some Digimon fanart when I was, uh, a bit too young to actually be looking at that kind of thing. I wasn’t sure quite how to process my feelings, so I told myself that I was “totally offended” and it was “really gross,” even though I kept scrolling through the pages of art/fanfic, and kept googling, and, uh… yeah.
  18. A few years later, I semi-admitted my budding curiosity when I bought a legit copy of Gravitation from the mall in my hometown. Gravitation is about a budding pop star who falls in love with a cynical, chain-smoking hot blonde author man. I felt so guilty about buying something that was technically M-rated(and about dudes kissin’ dudes) that I called my mom from a mall bench and confessed to her that I’d bought it. She thought it was fine. My mom is really cool.
  19. My favorite anime ever is Gankutsuou. Once I got really upset at an article that described literature-based anime that “totally misses the point of the book,” because it included Gankutsuou and had the most shallow comparisons to The Count of Monte Cristo possible. I was Mad On The Internet about someone shit-talking space demon Edmund Dantes and the space boyfriend sons of his space enemies. Gankutsuou is amazing.
  20. When I was a dumb teenager, I romantically swore that the song “500 Miles (I’m Gonna Be)” would be played at my wedding, FOR SURE. I guess Benny and Joon left a mark on impressionable little me. “500 Miles” is my fiancé’s least favorite song. I’m not sure we can resolve this. It will probably destroy our relationship.
  21. I keep doing this thing to myself where I read about unsolved murders (or disappearances) and then spend way too many hours pouring over videos/articles/details about the cases. This makes me very upset, but I can’t stop myself from obsessing over these things and trying to come up with my own theories. I should probably stop doing this, though. But… I can sure tell you about some interesting murders if you happen to ask me about them.
  22. My family once adopted a stray puppy. Despite thousands of dollars and herculean efforts to save her, she died of parvo on Christmas morning. I’m still agnostic, but I don’t think I’ve ever doubted the existence of some kind of “divine plan” so much as that day.
  23. I can draw reasonably well and wanted to study Illustration in college to polish the skill, but that was another thing that fell by the wayside during budget-cut-adventure during the time I was in school. I’m still mad.
  24. I think some of the most interesting stories I’ve ever “written” were stories and scenes I wrote with friends on a WoW RP server. Shout-out to Sentinels NA. We had some pretty rad shit going on in those days, and I miss it pretty frequently. A lot of it was very self-indulgent, but most stories with a lick of heart starts that way, IMO. O Bleeding Heart, O Muted Lark!
  25. I used to want to be an Animorph more than I wanted pretty much anything in the world. My friends and I would always “acquire” animals we encountered, and then brag about them to each other. I felt pretty cool about “acquiring” a horse one time on a Girl Scout trip to a farm.
  26. I have weird feelings about being someone’s “wife” even though I deeply love my fiancé and want to marry the pants off of him (HEH.) When I was younger, I felt weird every time someone (even close friends) referred to me as “x’s girlfriend” rather than referring to me by my name. The thought of being called someone’s “wife” makes me recall those feelings of objectification and non-identity — that certain people, by invisible societal law, will see and define me by my relationship status rather than me. They’ll start to ask me stuff like, oh, hrm, hahh, do you have kids? When will you have kids? Oh, you both work? I will probably find myself irritated by this, but definitely not ashamed. My fiancé is rad and I feel rad.
  27. One of the stupidest things I ever did as a kid was run around like an idiot at a campsite and disregard my parents’ warning to “be careful of that fire pit,” which was still smoldering from the last group that’d used it. Within moments I’d fallen into that fire pit and burned my hand on some coals and a hot nail. My parents had my ice it down with a bag of frozen peas, and I don’t blame them for not really feeling bad for me. This is something I think about every time I wonder to myself if I’ll ever have kids, because I’m not sure I could put up with a kid who falls into a smoking fire pit just seconds after being told not to go near it. Kids are terrible.
  28. Speaking of terrible kids, my little sister once annoyed me so badly while I was supposed to be “babysitting” that I threw a battery at her. I threw it so hard it left a battery-shaped dent in the wall. She shrieked — not with terror, but with delight — “I’M TELLING MOM.”
  29. Because there wasn’t much to do in my hometown, friends and I would sometimes be absolute dicks at the local mall to waste time. Most of the shit we did was typical insufferably teenage nonsense I’m now embarrassed to think about (rearranging stuff, playing soccer in the towel aisle, sword fights with the shower curtain rods). Once, though, we put a bunch of gay and lesbian porn books into the “Christian Inspiration” section of Barnes & Noble. This is still funny. I regret nothing about this.
  30. I suppose the above story is slightly less immature if I tell the story that came BEFORE it: once I went to Barnes & Noble looking for a book called “Boy Meets Boy” for a gay friend. I had to ask someone to help me find it. Despite me being very clear about what I was looking for, they expressed visible discomfort and led me to the “Christian Inspiration” section and handed me a book called “Boy Meets Girl” with a cross on it. Shut up, Barnes & Noble. I know what I’m about.
  31. BONUS: one of the most human, memorable statements I’ve ever heard was someone telling me how worried she was about accidentally farting while she gave a eulogy at her father’s funeral. I have never felt more comfortable with my own anxieties, or more thankful for another person’s honesty and good humor in the face of tragedy.

PEACE OUT EVERYONE.

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