“J’s mom suddenly announced that we were making a gigantic mistake and shouldn’t get married. …I was used to my own mother being disingenuous, but I wasn’t used to seeing it in other people.”
So much for a society that blindly assumes that mothers make the better parent. They do just as often as they don’t. Both senior women here let you down and are a huge reason for the situation you ended up in. When helping you would have been an easier and overall smarter option..for both kids that they have invested so much in.
All the best with your life, your story will certainly help others, and countless globally, who no doubt are in the exact same situation, or have been, or will soon find themselves struggling with this predicament.