Two Weeks Notice Is for Sandwich Artists
Mike Monteiro

It is 4:45pm Friday. The quitter slinks into my office like a cat burglar, oh-so-gently closing the door behind them, so they can make it out of the office by 5pm. Pretty inconsiderate way to go out, quitter. Schedule that quit meeting for earlier Friday — let’s grab lunch. Or better, quit over Thursday lunch or drinks after work. I’ll probably pick up the tab, because you were considerate about how you quit.

Maybe I am a monster, but as regards amount of notice, I take the opposite view. My personal preference is ripping off the bandage for a two week notice giver. So give notice on Thursday. Friday we have an exit interview, I spend the morning surveying the state of quitter’s work, we map out looming deadlines and landmines, and then I cut a check for time served plus severance if you were cool and I get ‘em out the door that day with some COBRA paperwork. If there is something pending, work remote as a 1099, I’ll pay for finished product, but more often than not the work can be handed off with a meeting and a couple of follow up calls or emails.

It really isn’t punitive. No one in the history of mankind has done work worth diddly during their two weeks of sandbagging before the shiny new gig starts, and the quitter is bumming everyone out.