One day it will all make sense. Today might not be that day. Enjoy!
Shake the cobwebs from your once idle mind.
“If you write. Write to please one person.” — Kurt Vonnegut.
I am going to put this right here.
The world has told me a lot of yes. I am the first person to say I am soft. I haven’t had that drive of hate. I’ve never been told I will be a failure. I’ve been told that I have a hard time fitting into roles provided. However, I’ve never been labeled as such a deviant soul to which proper procession through life is guaranteed.
Apologies.
I am back at this again. And as my buddy Kurt can attest, I feel better when I write. So please forgive me for the numerous repetition of the letter I. Those moments I went idle it would be nice to say I traveled to exotic lands. Instead, I felt my hubris. I flew ever so close to the warmth of the sun. I felt the intoxicating rays of the fresh hot sun upon my makeshift wings. I felt the elation of soaring higher than I thought possible. Only to have my success shadowed by a strong drink of scotch and a lonely bed afterward.
We can’t all win.
It’s hard.
It’s a fact of life.
What we can do is just be better.
The drummer in my bed said that to me.
We pay special tribute to the things that we neglect. More often than not we neglect the things we should pay attention to. For example.
::Tomorrow Morning:: My phone awakens me.
It causes my rise to the conscious, not because of pertinent information, but rather a gif of an adorable lab puppy who is just too tired.
I’ve gained a second of dopamine, cause “AWWW.”
My mind starts scrolling. Luckily I can find an immediate outlet to that rush, now I’ve found a motivational video about small changes. However, once that video has sunk to below my awareness, I am faced with the fact that it’s been over a half an hour since I started scrolling.
Thinking is hard.
Thinking beyond yourself is even harder.
I face a lot of dilemmas. Which is why I enjoy contradictions and irony.
If we can’t make light of a situation, why be in the situation entirely?
Ahh, there’s Henry Rollings once again.
Thanks to modern luxury, and inclusion educational practices I’ve never woken up with that drive to prove a stupid muthafucka wrong about me.
I got the participation ribbon.
I showed up.
Therefore I should be rewarded with something.
I feel like right here should be a plug.
I showed up. I made somewhat coherent sentences. Therefore I should receive adulation and praise.
The world doesn’t care.
Why?
Because I don’t care.
I don’t care enough to take those stabs in the dark at something new.
I trust the information I surrendered will provide me with enough nonsense, to keep me from thinking. If my slop of education doesn’t stimulate me enough not to worry! There is plenty to make me think I am capable as an arm chair quarter back.
These are my words upon a screen.
These are my thoughts of a tangible medium.
Live long and prosper.
What does that mean?
I am face to face with death.
A body that will soon give out to a mind that is too strong to give in.
Curse old age and the existential crisis therein.
Death is guaranteed.
But you know what also is?
Life.
I can’t dictate my own experience to you,
However I can say that, I am happy.
Happy in the fact that the roller coaster of ups and downs is all mine. So fuck off if you want to piss on my parade.
Shit another one hundred words.
The bourbon paired nicely with my “I don’t give a fuck attitude.”
We are all searching for advice.
Fact.
What I am not doing is following my own advice.
Cause fuck that I am too comfortable.
Why rock the boat if it is not necessary and everyone is safely aboard?
Fucken holy titty shit.
Word counts are hard.
You know what is harder?
Living a life below your capabilities.
Never give up.
Be strong.
Because one day you will carry your accomplishments across the great divide with a sense of pride. You will say to yourself that I did that. so fuck off.
My knees hurt from the mountains I walked.
The limitations of a physical body are something to be cheerfully shrugged.
One day we will die.
