Packing and Preparation
So the time has come. My life has been packed up in Cirencester and unpacked in York. It’s odd seeing my old things mixed in with the new; my clothes hanging in the ‘wrong’ wardrobe; my favourite plants sat on an unfamiliar desk, in a new room, in a new house, in a new city.
To some extent, it doesn’t feel like I’m living here yet. I have wandered around the city for hours, feeling like a tourist and a resident at the same time. My room feels like mine but I also slightly like I’m just on holiday and I’m about to return to Cirencester at any moment.
I feel lost and disorientated, but my heart also feels content and determined. In many ways I am still terrified by what will happen (as is often the case when you lean into God’s plans) and there are still many question marks in my mind over what this year holds for me.
But I know for sure this year signifies a new start and a new adventure. By pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I am preparing to grow in my faith and in the plans that God has for me. I know He is holding on to me and carrying me through, and I want this to be a season of prosperity and growth in a way that will fulfil the plan that God has for my life.
To those of you who may not know, I have just started as an intern at St Michael le Belfrey church in York. I am participating in the New Wine Discipleship Year, a year-long programme in which I hope to learn how to serve Jesus and his Kingdom in the way that I am being called. I am particularly focusing on worship and how I can serve the church and the community with the gifts that God has given me.
But beyond that, this year is a time for me to learn how to live passionately for Jesus. I want to learn to live my life as an act of worship to God that encourages and develops others so that we can change the world in a godly way. Worship is more than just the songs we sing on a Sunday (although I love sung worship and it is a huge part of my life). One writer puts it like this:
True worship is defined by the priority we place on who God is in our lives and where God is on our list of priorities. True worship is a matter of the heart expressed through a lifestyle of holiness.
For me, this is what this year is about; centring my life around God, putting him at the top of my priority list. And I don’t want this to just be a year-long thing. My prayer is that this year will equip me for the “real world”, and that I will continue to live my life as an act of worship into the future.
And so, I will take the discomfort for a while. I will let myself feel unsettled in this new place because this is where God has called me. And I hope sometime soon I will see my clothes sitting in my wardrobe; my favourite plants sitting amongst many new favourites on my desk, in my room, in a city that I can call home.
“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:19)
