Honestly, I kind of hated this article. Which is not the same as saying I hate you — I don’t even know you. But as a #MeToo, I have also been in the position you put Jake in, of someone approaching me and essentially saying “I know you’re a survivor, and I want you to absolve me of this sin.” And I can tell you, it’s the worst. Survivors don’t have the power to redeem you, and it’s something that should stop being asked of us.
When you’ve taken a movement about survivors, and you use it to title a piece shirking the blame for your own coercion and harassment — it isn’t your fault, it’s porn, or bullies, or the women who shamed you — it’s difficult to believe that this is a piece that either genuinely expressed remorse *or* advocates any real change.
You seem to be offering yourself as a “redemption” story, but you show derision towards the women who chose not to help you heal (with the implication that you know better than them it would help them, too), and you don’t appear to understand that manipulating women into sleeping with you (in your own words!) is more than just harassment.
I can’t say anything about you as a person, but the article you’ve written here is both in poor taste and severely lacking insight. Maybe I’ll regret this comment, but I am deeply critical of any editorial decision that says we need a voice from “the other side of the story” in a movement that is about giving a voice and an opening for survivors to speak.
I would really, really rather Medium had not pushed this onto my homepage, but as it did, I hope this comment gives you pause for thought. I also hope I’m not the only person to challenge this.