What is Wokefishing?
About a month or so ago I was talking to one of my friends, who was curiously embarrassed about the fact that she had recently taken the plunge into the online dating pool. Having had some exposure to this arena myself, I was curious to understand more about her particular experience. Now I know that this particular friend of mine is quite passionate about a number of things. Music for instance, and history. She is always telling me about the movies that she has seen, and the ones that she can’t wait to watch. She is also a passionate feminist.
Apparently, she was talking to a guy, and she mentioned a list of things that she liked, and it seemed as though he latched on to the feminism angle. As she tells it, he was “nearly overly enthusiastic about feminism”. The interesting part of the story, to me anyway, was that they eventually did meet up, and it turns out that he wasn’t really a feminist at all. At least he didn’t seem to try to give her the impression that he had a series of beliefs that were consistent with being a feminist, at least as she tells it.
By itself this is certainly not a revolutionary concept. Men have been exaggerating/misrepresenting their interests to appeal to women forever. After asking around a bit, and doing some research online, it turns out that “woke-fishing” is actually quite common.
It’s very hard to overstate the genius of Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson). Few mathematicians have inspired more tomes of celebratory literature and commentary (written largely by non-mathematicians).
The term ‘portmanteau’ was introduced by author Lewis Carroll in his 19th century novel “Through the Looking Glass”. In the story, Humpty Dumpty explains to Alice how words can be combined, stating, “You see it’s like a portmanteau — there are two meanings packed up into one word.
“Wokefishing” is a dating trend where someone presents themselves as socially aware and progressive in order to attract a partner, but, and this is the important part, their actions do not align with their supposed beliefs. The term is a combination of the term “woke” (being aware of and actively attentive to important facts and issues) and “catfishing” (assuming a false identity).
One of the earliest recorded instances of usage of the term wokefishing came less than 3 years ago, in 2020, when Serena Smith published a popular article about this concept in Vice. So here wokefishing is described as “when people masquerade as holding progressive political views to ensnare potential partners”.
A person who is wokefishing may ask vague questions about progressive causes and mirror their date’s responses, even though they don’t actually support those causes. The trend has become increasingly prevalent among millennials. Those who fall for wokefishing often feel misled or betrayed.
Looking more closely into the phenomenon, it seems natural to wonder what drives someone to adopt such an approach? Is it the allure of the chase, or perhaps the desire to connect with someone who shares similar values? Whatever the reason, one thing is certain: wokefishing has made a splash in the murky waters of online dating, and it’s a trend that’s probably going to stick around for a while.
It can sometimes be hard to draw a definite line between strict wokefishing and mere romantic hyperbole/social compliance. Sometimes wokefishing may involve a benign exaggeration of one’s political views or a slight misrepresentation of one’s level of commitment to social causes. But it may be more insidious and involve a blatant attempt at deception, such as feigning interest in a specific movement or cause to gain a potential partner’s trust and approval. Regardless of the method, the result is the same: a relationship built on a shaky foundation of dishonesty and deception.
But what are the ramifications of this practice? For starters, wokefishing can lead to disappointment and frustration for those who fall victim to it. Imagine investing time and energy into someone who seems to share your values and beliefs, only to find out they’ve been playing a part all along. I can’t say as though I have ever been wokefished, at least not that I’m aware of, but I imagine that it would feel similar to how it feels when someone tries to scam you. From all accounts, the sense of betrayal that comes from being the victim of one of these gambits can be profound, and the emotional toll can be significant.
It’s not that hard to see that wokefishing can have a deeply negative impact on genuine social activism. When people pretend to care about important issues, it undermines the credibility of those who are genuinely passionate and engaged in the fight for justice and equality. In a world where authenticity is often hard to come by, wokefishing only serves to muddy the waters further.
In the context of online dating, wokefishing can be particularly damaging. Even a jaded anti-romantic would potentially agree with the proposition that building a successful relationship relies on trust, communication, and shared values. When one party is dishonest about their beliefs, it can set the stage for future conflict and disappointment. I’m not really one for prescriptive platitudes, but sometimes “honesty is the best policy,” and this is especially true when it comes to relationship formation.
So how can we, as a society, combat the phenomenon of wokefishing? Maybe this is a war that can’t really be won, but the first step seems to be awareness. By simply acknowledging the existence of this trend and understanding its potential consequences, we can better protect ourselves and others from falling prey to it. As daters, we can be vigilant in our quest for authenticity, asking thoughtful questions and being mindful of any inconsistencies in our potential partners’ responses.
As it is with life in general, it’s helpful to maintain a healthy skepticism when it comes to online dating. While it’s natural to want to see the best in others, it’s important to remember that not everyone’s intentions are pure. By approaching online dating with a discerning eye, we can better identify potential pink flags, red flags, and avoid falling victim to the siren song of the wokefisher.
Finally, we should remember the power of our own authenticity. By being true to ourselves and our values, we can attract partners who genuinely share our beliefs and ideals. In a world where wokefishing runs rampant, our honesty and integrity can act as a beacon, guiding us towards meaningful, lasting connections.
And that friend of mine, well, needless to say she didn’t book a follow-up date with the fishermen. Last I heard she was still trawling through the nets of Tinder, now with a heightened awareness for dubious anglers…
