It’s Okay to Not Be Okay… #WorldMentalHealthDay

How will I feel today?

This morning I stared at the walls of the ceiling and hated them. I worried about work. My caffeinated startup lifestyle just might stress my heart to the to the brink… and then I’ll croak. I thought of my family in other states that I feel detached from, the business partners who have stolen from me and basically everything I’ve ever done wrong. I forced my body out of bed.

After skipping my morning shower I put on yesterday’s pants because they conveniently held my keys and wallet. I took pause to realize that this was a sign of depression so I made a point to at least drag a toothbrush across my teeth a few times before venturing out.

Today, I’m just not good and not all there… and that’s okay. If every day was peachy fucking keen I wouldn’t have any way to guage the difference between a good and bad day. So that’s my morbid way of being “motivational” (which I find funny that I’m considered a “motivational speaker”)

I needed to connect so I talked to one of my best friends about depression. He happens to be an ex-heroine addict (if that’s even the proper term) and he said something that resonated with me…

“If you can feel this bad it tells me that, at some point, you’ll be able to feel this good.”

So I went to a coffeeshop and fired up Periscope. It seems really damn cliche but when I feel fake I want to be more real.

I was amazed to get 40,000 live viewers as I talked about faking my way through a life that I often don’t understand. Feel free to listen to it and share it. It’s some of my better work in livestreaming and it has no ulterior motive. I just hope that I reached a few folks through technology…

and then…

People started reaching out to me via technology and I felt less and less lonely.

One of many texts…
Featured on Periscope
Emails from all over the world
A very LARGE Snapchat message and A TON OF TWEETS

In the end, technology can bring us together in a real way. My job is to make the world a better place through technology…

You’re my friend now, my flamingo, my “other me.”

Feel free to connect with me. I’m here. It’s painful sometimes but I’m completely here.