The 5 Things You NEED in your Generic Blog Post

#1 — A title that includes a number.

The number you choose doesn’t have to have any relation to anything else you are doing. The number will determine who reads your post. For example, less than 7 will get you the entrepreneur crowd, 27 or 32 will get you the hipsters, 100 will get you government employees.

# 2 — You MUST tell people why they should read the post right at the start.

People in 2015 are too scatter-brained to know why they are doing anything. If people aren’t being told why they are doing what they are doing then, their life force is likely to dry up.

#3 — HEADLINES & other dramatic style changes.

People are likely to forget why they are reading your post somewhere around the middle of the second paragraph. To get them back into the post you should take full advantage of the headline feature, as well as italics.

#4 — Quotes from smart people.

People are generally unable to evaluate the merits of an argument using their rational faculties. All they use is social proof.

So you NEED to add quotes from people thought of as smart. Don’t worry about finding quotes related to your argument, just make sure they’re from people thought of as legit. Hell, you can even make them up and just falsely attribute them.

Googling for quotes about quotes is hard— Mahatma Gandhi

#5 — A random stock photo

Like the quotes in your post and the number in your title, the photo doesn’t have to have any connection to your content. A photo of a random object is always good. A photo of a pretty girl with her head tilted at a strange angle and hair covering her face is better, but CATS ALWAYS WIN.

#6 — Tell people what to do at the end

People in 2015 are too scatter-brained to know why they are doing anything — Ryan Ferguson

Always tell people what to do at the end of the post. They haven’t actually been reading your post, they’ve just been scanning for headlines and quotes. Realistically you can just use a bunch of random words for the whole middle section of your blog post. Once the conclusion comes around though it is of the utmost importance that you tell people what to do. If you don’t tell your readers what to do they are likely to get stuck on your post and die of thirst after about three days.