Reflection

Why everyone needs to look in the mirror, metaphorically and literally

I’ve been through a lot in the past two years. For some reason I often take that for granted. Even now that I’ve got a firm grasp on who I am and know that I’m one of the good guys I still overlook my past. Without realizing it I ignore it. That’s something I have to work on. I view the tip of that iceberg often, the one that reads: “People are the way they are because of their past.” I’m sharp on realizing that in other people. People intrigue me so I often wonder what they’ve been through. Or like with my friends I know what they’ve been through so their behavior makes more sense to me. That’s been me my whole life though, always seeing others in the mirror instead of myself.

The most important thing I learned in rehab is I have to carry that mirror around with me. When you go through life putting others needs before your own you begin to decay on the inside. That’s what happened to me until I went to rehab. I realized that I still cared about myself enough to get help, so I might as well do the rest, and for the rest of my life I will respect the man that I see in that mirror. It will take some time for me to make this a part of my mental routine, but I will do it. My mental routine was becoming so self-destructive that it took full control of me physically. It ran through my head, and crept down my neck paralyzing my spine with hatred and rage, eventually numbing all other emotions until that’s all I could feel, and all I wanted to feel.

I won though. I beat it. It’ll try to come back, but as long as I remember who I am and try to maintain control I will win. My mind and my entries as of late have been over seasoned with cliches, but what’s wrong with that? There’s a reason they’re called cliches. They’re always true, and always will be.