Here are nine things Jesus never said:

  1. I’ll make your life easier.

2. I want all my followers to be rich and powerful.

3. Happiness will be yours, if only you work hard enough for it.

4. I’ll soothe your existential angst, but only if you learn to ask the right questions.

5. I care when you pray about finding a good parking spot.

6. I intended one path for your life, and it’s up to you to discern what that is.

7. I’ll rid you of anxiety, if you’ll just pray harder.

8. Worship me and certainty in every ethical dilemma shall be yours.

9. Please, by all means, spend more time arguing about theology than you do loving your neighbor.

And one He actually did:

“Come to me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Amen for that.