The people and places we experience on the journey of life change us. It’s actually impossible to go back to the way it was before them. People and places leave imprints on the soul- for good and for ill. They change the self; you are not the same person after these encounters. A song, a photo, a smell cannot be experienced without recalling a memory. The place you met him, the way she smelled, that object you experienced together that can never again be seen without speaking of that person. You have changed, you experience the world differently.

This sometimes nostalgic hope for a static self that doesn’t change, the idea that ‘This isn’t the real me’ actually may not exist. (“This is not the person I married” is a projection of this ideal onto someone else!) I think reality is that the real you is the changing you. The real you can only be understood at the end, when all the people and places have done their work and left their marks of love and sometimes hate on the soul. I suppose that the good news is that in that moment when you find that you are uneasy about who you have become, there is still the option of becoming something different; there is still the option of not letting scars become an epitaph, or for the beautiful things we encounter to be given the right to define aspects of the future. It appears that change is here to stay – because there is more life to live, more people and places to experience – it’s how we embrace or reject her that matters.

(There is something in this too about the true self being that which corresponds to the likeness of Christ… He is the static…Maybe that’s for another post!)

(*Journal entry from August 25, 2015)

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