This Life is my Fault, and I Deserve it.
My life is my own fault and I deserve to live it.
What do you feel when you say that to yourself?
Does it make you proud to sit back and look at where you are in life right now? Are your finances in the right place? Relationships with friends and family are where you’d hoped they’d be? Your job lights you up when you walk in the doors and you love what you’re doing?
Whatever the result of those answers, the truth is that it is no-ones’ fault but your own and until you accept and own that, you will continue to feel the same way about these things no matter how hard you wish they’d change.
What we’re talking about here is taking personal responsibility for where we are today in our lives. Not only owning our missteps, but also claiming our success. Perhaps one or two areas in your life are moving in the right direction or have been in a good place for some time now, own that, you did it.
Frankly this isn’t the simplest exercise, but it’s the beginning. Everything you do in your life can be launched from here, this moment, this opportunity to take control. To no longer blame your parents, bad luck, no one believing in you, whatever it is that you want to pass off the responsibility of your life to. This is it. You make a choice today to free yourself from being a victim and in doing so you remove the shackles of yesterday that chain you from being present today so that you can accomplish tomorrow.
Take a minute to write down all the areas in your life that you’re proud of. Maybe you’ve got a great job, maybe you’re desperately in love with your partner, or you’ve become a great parent, perhaps you’ve saved some money. Whatever it is, write it down on the left side of a
piece of paper and start each one with the letter I.
For example: “I love my job”
Now on the right side of the paper write down all the areas of your life you think are shitty. You don’t make enough money, you’re in a crappy relationship, whatever it is that made you uncomfortable when you said ‘this is my life and I fucking deserve this’, just write it down on the page. This is in fact about judgment, but it is self judgment and what comes along with that is the decision to own our lives again and so just be open with yourself on these areas you’re not proud of. This time I want you to start each one with “I don’t”.
For example: “I don’t love my job”
Now on the bottom of that page, I want you to write under the left column of things you’re proud of “I deserve this”, and on the right side under your list write “This is my fault”
For most of us the list on our right hand side will be longer then the left. This is where the real powerful stuff begins. If you’re like most people and you have more shitty areas in your life then awesome ones, first of all, you’re normal. Second of all, it’s ok and third, the best part in my view, is that you have potential.
If we erase everything from the page you just wrote on and the page is empty again, what do you see?
I will give you the answer, and the answer isn’t zero, it’s infinite. It isn’t nothing, it’s everything. It isn’t emptiness, it’s full of opportunity.
When we take responsibility for our lives, we’re stepping out of a cloud of blame, and into the sunshine of self-awareness and accountability. Take that step with me.