How Improv Changed My Life
I have long been a creature of habits, but not necessarily good ones. I was a very picky eater growing up, and still am in many ways, as most vegetables make me want to gag. I kept small groups of friends, watched the same few tv shows, played the same few games over and over again, and listened to Dave Matthews Band on repeat for years.
There were always things I wanted to try growing up that I never did. School plays, the golf team, asking that girl out to prom, these were all things I thought about doing but never got the courage to do. It really came down to being terrified I might fail, and worse, fail publicly. That’s the stuff nightmares are made of right? Growing up I had just enough of these experiences to know that I never wanted to face them ever again.
In graduate school I saw some flyers for local acting/improv classes. I let one or two seasons go by, staring wistfully at the flyers wondering if I would be any good at something like that, wondering what kind of people I would meet. This was a familiar feeling, daydreaming about what might be. Familiar but frustrating because there was a big part of me that knew I could do this if I only tried.
Well the next fall semester when I saw those fliers once again I decided to take one home. I looked up the prices for the introductory improv classes. I even saw a picture of the instructor, who looked oddly like Jim Carey, which I took as a positive sign. I signed up, telling myself to at least give it a try and if I hated it I could always drop out and ask for my money back, blaming needing to “focus on my studies” or something.
Well I didn’t hate it. I wasn’t particularly good at it, at least not as good as some of the other class members who had taken improv classes before and seemed to know each other. I actually found that I really enjoyed the process of learning improv though. It never occurred to me that you could “practice” improv comedy, but I learned that you don’t so much practice “being funny” as you do “saying yes” to whatever is happening in the scene.
I could go on and on about the different exercises and lessons I have gotten from improv, but what has been even more important is the way improv has changed my mentality when it comes to approaching new opportunities. The second week of improv classes the other students were going out for drinks and food at an Asian fusion restaurant nearby. Trust me when I tell you the idea of eating anything from an Asian fusion restaurant would have been ridiculous to me before starting this class. Two hours of saying “yes and…” however really primed me to be open to anything. So not only did I go to the restaurant with these people I barely knew, but I tried at least three or four new food dishes that I had never tried or even heard of before. They weren’t bad!
Six or so years later and now I am part of a full fledged improv troupe that performs once a month and occasionally at comedy festivals all along the east coast! Ryan Engelstad, the same guy who was terrified to try out for school plays, of trying foods I wasn’t familiar with, and of talking to girls much less asking them out anywhere, is now married to a beautiful woman and has performed comedy in New York, Boston, Philadelphia, and other towns across New Jersey. Okay I still don’t love vegetables but I’m willing to try them! Mostly…
This shift would have been unbelievable to me only 10 years ago, but I couldn’t be happier and it all started by saying “yes and…” Now I want to help others do the same, whether as a therapist, coach, friend, or local improv performer, I think the skills I have learned over the past several years are easily teachable. Anyone can overcome their fears to try something new. What do you need to say “yes and…” to?
