Day 8: Soul Food
I close my eyes and the flavours dance in my mouth. Food tastes so much better this way. I just love playing with the senses. The more I isolate them, the more they focus. A heightened sense of receptivity. I receive there pure information with gratitude and love. The wisdom of the body always ready to nourish, adapting to any situation and environment. I’m amazed at its resilience. This body is a gift. Playing with the senses is such a joy. I continue flavour tripping as the sun sets over Ubud.
Writers block as been teasing me these last few days. It feels more like a test of my creativity and will. How will I move beyond even when the words aren’t showing up for their duty. Like sex, I let go, keep the hands moving and breath deep. Magically it works like a charm every time. I delight in the connection. I feel my body. I become a channel for what wants to emerge through me. There is no wrong move. I just get out of the way and allow the energy to move through me. And I write.
Yesterday I reminisced about my years as a community builder and my various reckless experiments. In writing about my days building Pure House, I felt a huge relief that these days are behind me. It was such an exciting and rewarding journey. And it nearly killed me.
I realised the unintended impact on my energy and my relationships these experiences have had. It’s taken years to recover and many of those relations most dear to me remain unhealed. This makes me sad. And I accept that there are lessons to be learned in every experience. It just hurts to know that it has cost me some of the most intimate and loving relationships I’ve ever experienced.
I breathe, accept and forgive.
And I trust that everything in life is divinely orchestrated. I know that these experiences have been an essential part of my learning journey through life. They have also brought me to places I could have never imagined. For example, I would never imagine I would be living in Bali and writing a book.
What a gift these past years have been. I have travelled the world, soaking up beautiful experiences and meeting magical souls. Without these experiences, this adventure would not have emerged as it has. It’s been so nourishing for my soul to flow as it desires and to learn to be quite.
I remain a student, open to what life wants to bring to me. I have so much love swirling inside me. I am learning to be with this love, to receive it and to acknowledge my essence. With each day, the desires melt into this love; deeper and deeper. I release into her love and feel her radiance. I am whole and complete.
And I write, and write, and love, and trust. I’m being called deeper into silence so the most potent essence of what wants to be shared comes through clearly. I will speak of love, connection and trust.