How Sheryl Crow Convinced Me a Change Would Do Me Good
Sometimes, everything in your life intersects at once. This is supposed to happen. It’s the same inspiration behind all the “make a change!” memes posted all over Instagram and Facebook, namely one of my favorites that goes something like this:
“An arrow can only be shot by being pulled backwards. When life is dragging you back with difficulties, just imagine its going to launch you in something Great”
I’ve known a change has been imminent for awhile, but I think everyone can attest to the monotony of day-to-day life and the difficulty of jolting a lasting zing of electricity to push you forward and take control of life again. Oddly, today of all days, when I finally have enough to time to look back and over — zoom out a bit on what I’ve just experienced at home, with my friends, and compare it with all of the phenomenal opportunities I have at my fingertips every day. And that overview is supplemented by some of the top hits of Sheryl Crow, whose music seems to fit incredibly succinctly with these transitional thoughts.
— Anthology —
All I Wanna Do
Tuesday Night Music Club
r. 4/4/94
“I like a good beer buzz, early in the morning
Billy likes to peal the labels from his bottles of Bud
He shreds them on the bar then he lights up every match
In an over-sized pack letting each one burn
Down to his thick fingers before blowing and
Cursing them out, he’s watching
The bottles of bud as they spin on the floor
And a happy couple enters the bar
Dangerously, close to one another
The bartender looks up from his wants ads
But,
All I wanna do is have some fun.”
This song is me at the bar and outside of the bar. For me, alcohol has literally always been a way to disconnect, which I am lucky to have realized at the young age of 29. Despite my inability to handle any sort of hangover, I do regularly participate in the art of drinking and I’ve only recently learned how to do it in such a way that doesn’t result in 3 consecutive days of ice packs, half-smoked cigarettes and waves of nausea. Our society teaches us that the pinnacle of success is binge drinking at a club with loud music and friends that love you. This is not real life. At a bar in Vegas (which is starkly different than being at a bar in Wisconsin, mind you), the routines are often the same — the same people and the same activities — and it always makes me anxious. I am the beer-label pealer, the matchbook shredder, the “where’s my drink I need a sip” type. And these lyrics speak to the ridiculous hook-up scene at bars, even more prevalent in gay bars given its distinction as an outlet for those of certain sexual proclivities. “Dangerously close to one another” and fueled with a temporary liquid binder. Can you tell I’m jaded? Perhaps its loneliness. Alas. Lessons learned in Las Vegas. Speaking of…
Leaving Las Vegas
Tuesday Night Music Club
r. 6/16/94
“Used to be I could drive
Up to Barstow for the night
Find some crossroad trucker
to demonstrate his might
But these days it seems
Nowhere is far enough away
So I’m leaving Las Vegas today”
How perfect can you get? I was leaving Las Vegas (if only for vacation), but this song came up more than twice, complete randomly, as I added Sheryl’s best of after fondly recalling “All I Wanna Do” several weeks back. It’s no secret I came to Las Vegas completely head-over-heels in love, with the idea of a new life and with a new love interest and quite literally blinded by the twinkling lights of this ever-changing city. And it many ways those empty facades have no made themselves known. It’s like a giant literal metaphor that I never even would dare to mention given the sickeningly thick amount of comparisons one can draw with finding their own independence. My guy wasn’t from Barstow, but it’s a good a place as any. It was oddly fulfilling to stare out the window of the plane and let the last few words lull my hyper-stressed mind — “and I won’t be back…”
Strong Enough
Tuesday Night Music Club
r. 11/15/94
“Nothing’s true, and nothing’s right
So let me be alone tonight
’Cause you can’t change the way I am
Are you strong enough to be my man?”
I was suffering what I considered some tumultuous times in my career, and while this might seem like the biggest jump of all the lyrical comparisons, I think it bears mentioning that there is something to be said for the partner/work juggle in adulthood. I’ve found that in general my biggest accomplishments are a result of complete dedication and focus, which I usually can only exert in one direction at a time. It has resulted in incredibly deep reflections of love and progress and it has also destroyed my work ethic/relationship accordingly. My outlet for one has an adverse effect on the other. And maybe jobs/roles/responsibilities aren’t as linear indicators of success as they often make them out to be. If the position isn’t good, or strong enough, or as mutually beneficial to me as I am to it, what’s the next step? It seems particularly poignant that throughout these lessons we learn in life, in whatever sphere, sometimes we need time to locate the light in the situation, and, with as much grace as possible, recognize what we can change and what is integral to who we are. Once that is established, any movement at all is forward, because light emanates in a circular fashion. The direction is completely dependent on the discoveries made when focusing inward.
If It Makes You Happy
Sheryl Crow
r. 9/20/96
“Get down, real low down
You listen to Coltrane, derail your own train
Well, who hasn’t been there before?
If it makes you happy
It can’t be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?
Again, with the obvious metaphor. Being home, all of my anxiety seemed to converge. It was the romanticized version of Appleton, ripe with the greens of spring, and the wedding of a great friend and the presence of friends and family I hadn’t previously seen for years. Who would want to go back home? Couple all of those thoughts with my indescribable fear of flying — and booking a train ticket home calmed the part of my anxiety that I felt capable of controlling in the moment. From that point, I began to tackle the more important questions — where do I want to go? What is my goal? And what’s the fastest way there?
A Change Would Do You Good
Sheryl Crow
r. 7/1997
“God’s little gift is on the rag,
Poster girl posing in a fashion mag,
Canine, feline, Jekyll and Hyde?
Wear your fake fur on the inside.
I’ve been thinking ‘bout catching a train,
Leave my phone machine by the radar range,
“Hello it’s me, I’m not at home,
If you’d like to reach me, leave me alone”
A change,
Would do you good”
This song is amazing for calling out all those fake illusions in life that may not be as imminently important as they appear. I needed to express some anger and disconnect. I got 4 calls from one of my customers I had given my cell number to and I remember realizing the non-importance of all my self-associated stress at work. My own direction was the most important and ignoring those calls was a further step in the right direction. Thus started the change that will do me good (hopefully).
It’s time. It’s time to do what I do best. Express myself. Write it, sing it, dance it, get it out. That’s the change I needed to make.
Soak Up the Sun
C’mon, C’mon
r. 3/25/02
“I’m gonna soak up the sun
I’m gonna tell everyone
To lighten up, I’m gonna tell ’em that
I’ve got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I’m looking up”
I’ve always been a control freak, and my way of changing this for me is to make it as positive as possible. There really is no one to blame. But an opportunity to be graceful and take problems in stride is a quality that people tend to appreciate. People also respond to positivity. Nobody wants to be with the stone that sinks the whole bag of rocks to the bottom of the stream. Just look up and breathe. That’s it!
Perhaps the strangest realization in writing this is that for each parallel I managed to draw, they happened in the same order the songs were released. There is a strange energy running through this universe that unites us to the things we need to see, hear, experience when and exactly when we need to experience them. This trip and these moments of reflection were vital to the progress and outlook I have. I am immensely blessed to have the support of an awesome and unique artist, whose songs I have historically found seemingly random and unrelate-able. Well, that certainly has changed.
SHERYL CROW 4 PRESIDENT