Thirty

As I reflect on the last thirty days, I realize it wasn’t easy. It was a struggle from time to time. I think when you know this is it, this is the last time I’m ever going do this again; your mind will play tricks. It will long for that thing your giving up. The events where I was tested beyond belief were all social events. I have learned I don’t always feel comfortable at social events and usually I wouldn’t even think twice. I stuck to my guns and stayed stronger than ever by reasserting to myself why I’m on this path.

Why am I on this path? I’m on this path because at some point in life you have to do things you have never done to get where you have never been. My life was following a predictable path. The gym that is my career would get pretty damn good then fall off. My relationships would be amazing, filled with love, then they would fall apart. When you see the same story, the same script play out again and again it’s time to flip the script. Well no; it’s time to toss the script all together and start over on my life’s real path.

I also came to realize we are capable of so much. My strength is going on the inside and deciphering my past and all things I’ve held on to that sent me on this path. I was told numerous times to go talk to someone. That didn’t work. That someone I needed to talk to was me. Taking some alone time figuring out what makes you tick is hard but its something I treat with great value. We have way more greatness than we give ourselves credit for. I would justify things to myself and fall right back into my predictable path no matter how many times I told myself I wouldn’t inevitably I would. One day it all stopped and I know it’s over I’m at peace with myself, my choices, and my life.

So what did I learn over these thirty days?

1. You have to want it. You and only you. No one else can or will convince you until you convince yourself.

2. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It will take time but the time will be worth it. Take it one day at time.

3. Family and friends are your support. If they don’t have to the capacity to support you, they won’t fit into your future most likely.

4. It’s your path. Do you. The naysayers have told me all kinds of nonsense. Stay true to your path.

5. Don’t expect things to come back. You changed and so have those things. You can only control you so get yourself on your path. If things are meant to be, they will be.

I wasn’t going to write, post or make any deal about it. I was just going to continue on my path. I know this will help others sharing my 30 day experience.

So I have been sober for 30 days well 34 days to be exact now, but who’s counting. Sure I didn’t drink longer than this in other attempts to stop but I knew I would drink again. Now I’m grateful to say I have a lifetime of sobriety ahead and I can’t wait to see how my life unfolds on this new path.

What can you give up or do for 30 days that will change your life?