Things He May Have Overlooked
I am writing this in response to Matt Nawrocki’s post Short People Have All the Luck, a piece that explains the tribulations of being a 6'4" white male. While I understand all of Matt’s points, I’d like to shed some light on things he may have overlooked (so to speak).
As a 5'6" white male (on a good day (the height part, not the skin color part — I’m white every day, regardless of what shoes I’m wearing (not to insinuate that every day is a good day because I’m white))), I believe short people are at a major disadvantage. To believe otherwise is, well, shortsighted.
Tall people might be goofy dancers and awkward huggers, and they definitely sacrifice legroom in most methods of transportation, but does that put them at a greater disadvantage than their more compact counterparts? I truly feel sorry for the giants who hit their heads on low-hanging chandeliers and doorways, but when a car is filled to capacity, guess who’s getting stuffed in the “bitch seat” or in the back row with little to no legroom… The smallest one.
When it comes to dating, or just being noticed in general, the “vertically challenged” struggle mightily. As Mr. Nawrocki mentions in his post, some women “won’t date guys under six feet.” But that’s not the worst part. Since many women are instinctively looking for tall men, it’s not that they won’t date us — they often don’t even notice guys under six feet.
And when they do notice us, it leads to things like the dreaded “friend-zone” or He’d be hotter if he was taller.
Since getting the attention of a female is sometimes a struggle for me, I have become adept at keeping that attention. I have mastered the art of tricking women — not into thinking I’m tall, but into thinking I’m cool. If I can’t be tall, then I will be loud. I will be confident. I will be a unique combination of things that makes me appear taller to women with poor eyesight and/or open minds.
Because I can’t be taller. So, why even focus on things we can’t change? Maybe she’d be hotter if she was smarter. Or funnier. Or not as ugly? (Okay, that’s probably mean.)
It’s silly, isn’t it?
This is why I implore everyone to stop worrying about the things we can’t control and instead focus on what we can. Be kinder, be more understanding, think more, laugh more.
But seriously, Matt. Crouch the fuck down at concerts, dude.
Ugh.
